false sense of hope (armin arlert x reader) complete ☆

❁ my home ❁ chapter 3

( hii! here for the next chapter? sorry this one is short and simple.. also i felt bad for armin so- i guess you'll just have to read to find out what i did ^^ okay i'll stop annoying you, ilysmmmm ! race you to the bottom ?) - author chan

even though pain still filled my senses coming in loud roaring aches, progressively getting worse with each breath, i couldn't help but feel guilty..

he lost someone dear to him, he probably passed out from how emotionally draining his endless cries and pleads were.. he's gone through so much and yet here i am, doing nothing more but filling him with false hope

he was frozen, just sitting there lifelessly facing away from me, as all his faith was forcefully ripped away from him. it's almost as if time stood still.. yet the crickets still sang, the trees still passed, the hum of the wagon still carrying us to an unknown destination

i can't do anything

i don't have any memory of armin but i still felt a strong yearning to help him, to fix this mess, to hold his hand and tell him everything will be alright. my plans on forgetting this world and letting the stars engulf me once more will have to be set aside, this is more important.

i laid there silently cursing myself for not reaching his expectations, for not being able to make him smile

"if i had my memories.." i trailed off accidentally speaking quietly to myself

  it didn't seem to catch his attention though, armin appeared to be lost in thought, questioning where he went wrong or possibly playing through old memories like a broken cd player stuck in an endless loop of nothing

i used most my energy to reach my hand up to the blonde, gently tucking his soft fluffy hair behind his ear so i could see his peachy features once more

armin noticed this, tensed up and lightly shrunk back away from my hand, distancing himself from me. i rested my hand on the wooden floor of the wagon once more and that's when i caught a proper glimpse of his expression, it was heart breaking..

his eyes red from crying, his cheeks were tented pink and stained with tears, he had his face scrunched up in attempts to not cry in front of me..

  armin was desperately avoiding my gaze by looking down to the right in sorrow and regret, he looked exhausted and finally ready to give up

i couldn't take it,

" who were mikasa and eren to me " i spoke in a soft reassuring tone hoping he wouldn't notice how much it drained me just to get a few simple words out

this took him off guard causing him to release his tension, his mouth parted slightly in awe of what i said as he darted his stunning blue eyes meeting with my (e/c) ones

"e- eren and mikasa ..?" he murmured slowly with pain still stinging his every word

"mmhm" i mumbled, trying not to speak much

he's gaze shifted to the right slowly as he thought, his expression soften before a small mournful smile crept on his soft pink lips as he seemed to recall fond memories from simpler times

a brief moment passed before he spoke,

"they've been our friends since i can remember (y/n).." he whispered with a weak smile, this topic seemed to lift his spirits

i couldn't help but be lightly proud of myself for making him smile, even if it was hardly noticeable

seeing armin more lively after my small question filled me with hope, if i keep asking questions maybe there's a chance something significant could click and my memories will come flooding back

please, i silently begged myself

( i win! i promise things pick up in the next chapter, i prefer the end of the story more personally.. ilysm meet you on the next page.)  <3