The Warrior Queen

Chapter Six

*I updated two chapters!! (Chapter Five and Chapter Six). Make sure you've read chapter five before you read chapter six :)*

Chapter Six
I didn't remember falling asleep, but I must have because I woke up the next morning in my own bed. I don't know how long I slept for. I would've thought it was nothing at all from the way my body ached.

I looked at the clock and, to no one's surprise, 5:15 am blarred back at me. Looks like even being kidnapped can't fix my sleeping schedule. I sighed and forced my aching legs off of the bed. I stood up on shaking legs and walked over to the closet so that I could grab a random pair of clothes. Then I made my way out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.

Thankfully, it was unoccupied. No one gets up this early but me. And Rowan, but he knows better than to bother me. I placed my clothes onto the counter and turned the shower on. As I waited for the water to warm up, I dared to look in the mirror. What stared back at me almost made me gasp.

My eyes were sunken in, dark circles surrounding them. My skin looked sickly pale, my cheekbones sunken in. I looked more malnourished than I ever have in my life. I'm sure the mating bond plays a part in that. Being away from Rowan probably did horrible things to my body, like it did to Amilia and Cameron when they were separated.

I sighed and forced myself to look away from the mirror and prepare for my shower. Once the water was warm enough, I hopped in. Usually I stand under the spray for a few moments. This time, however, I needed to get myself clean. I washed my hair four times before I felt like the grime from the dungeon was gone. I rubbed my skin raw, not stopping until my skin was pink. Even then, I still didn't feel clean.

I rubbed my hands through my hair aggressively, ignoring the sharp pain it caused. Then I paused. The pain. It made me stop thinking, if just for a moment. It was kind of nice.

I tilted my head, before shrugging and slowly turning the water as hot as it could go. I didn't stop until my skin was bright red, until steam started to come off the skin the water didn't touch. I basked in it. In the stinging it caused, my thoughts silenced. It was a blissful moment.

Then the shower door was being practically ripped off its hinges, ending my bliss. I was pulled gently out of the shower and into an awaiting towel. Once I was in the towel, Rowan began to shake me gently. "What the hell are you doing?"

He tried to ask it gently, but I heard the anger coming off of him in waves. His forest green eyes bore into mine, searching for an answer there. I just shrugged in response. His jaw ticked.

"What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing," Rowan growled, slower this time.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

The honesty in my voice seemed to break him. His eyes softened and he pulled me tight into his chest. I laid there, slack in his arms. I hated how warm I felt, how safe. I hated that he could feel that I was in pain. Hated that he cared. I hated that just being in his presence began to make me forget why I was angry at all. And most of all, I hated that I didn't hate him.

I pushed out of his grip, not relaxing until I had a good enough distance away from him. "No."

Rowan furrowed his eyebrows. "No what?"

"No," I shook my head. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to hug me and assume everything is okay. I'm so fucking angry with you that I can't think straight. And I don't want to hear your excuses or your apologies. I don't want to forgive you right now. Because I deserve to be angry. Just let me be fucking angry," I growled.

"Okay," Rowan nodded.

"Okay," I questioned, surprised that he gave in so quickly.

"Okay," he nodded, before taking a step closer to me. "But if you think for one second that that means I will sit back as you try to hurt yourself, you are sadly mistaken. I will give you your time to be angry. But that does not mean I am not here. I will still protect you. Always."