The Warrior Queen

Chapter Four

Chapter Four
I stopped eating. Not because I didn't want to eat, but because my appetite was completely gone. I couldn't bring myself to place food into my mouth. It takes too much effort.

Stefan stopped coming too. Well, he pops in every once in a while to gloat, but the torturing has stopped. I think even he realizes I'm already broken.

I try not to think about it, but that just makes me think about it more. Could Rowan and I really be mates?

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Even the little things, like Aiden being confused when our familiars played together so well. It would make sense, if we were mates.

But on the other hand, would Rowan really keep a secret from me like this? Not telling him about the engagement is one thing. I didn't want to tell him until I knew what I would do about it. And, the selfish part of me didn't want to lose him. But that is nothing compared to lying about being mates. He knows how much it affected my parents, and apparently his. It changes everything if it's true. But it can't be. Right?

Maybe we are and he didn't know. Could that happen? No, I don't think so. Amilia's parents knew right away when her and Cameron became mates. Rowan told me all about mates. There's no way that he wouldn't be able to recognize his own mate.

But... would he really betray me like this?

Maybe he would. But for what reason? Did he not want me as a mate? The hurt that came with that thought made me feel like I was going to vomit. But it could be true. Maybe he's into me now, but he doesn't know how he'll feel in a few years and he knew telling me we were mates would be a commitment he isn't ready for.

I need to stop jumping to conclusions but, fuck. What other reason could he possibly have for keeping this from me?

It doesn't matter. His reason doesn't matter. All that matters is that he kept this from me. Something so big that changes everything. If he's my mate then I can't just go rule the fae while he stays with the demons. That's obviously not working for my parents.

If I would have known sooner, then maybe I would already be next in line for the demon throne. Is that what I want?

He didn't even give me the chance to make that choice. He made the choice for me by not telling me. And where did it lead us?

Mates have a connection unlike anything I've ever heard of. Maybe if we were mated, I wouldn't be disconnected from him right now.

I really want Stefan to be wrong. I really do. But I know. Deep down, I know. Rowan and I are mates.

This time, I did vomit. I leaned over the chair and emptied my stomach onto the ground beside me. Not much came out since I haven't been eating lately. Mostly water, and a lot of dry heaving. I tried to gulp in as much air as possible, but it was like my throat was closing up.

I clutched the edges of the chair, the material cracking and splintering under my grip. I closed my eyes tight and tried to calm my racing heart. Tried to do anything to not feel like I was falling apart right now.

I didn't open my eyes for a long time. Not even when the door swung open and someone walked into the room. I knew instantly that it was Raphael. Having my powers back has its perks.

"Freya, you need to leave. Now," Raphael rushed to my side, his voice urgent.

Still, I didn't open my eyes. Didn't respond. Just sat there. No part of me cared about escaping anymore. No part of me cared about anything at all.

"Freya, stop messing around. This is serious," Raphael stated.

When I still didn't answer, he placed his hands on my shoulders and shook my gently. "Freya!"