Certain Things | Chaelisa & Jensoo

Chapter 17

We waited patiently for someone to open to door and after a few short moments the door jerked open with my smiling sister standing in them with her arms out stretched.

I couldn't help but smile back and let go of Lisa's hand in order to give my sister the hug I've desperately missed.

"Hey there, " she said into my ear quietly and I felt myself growing emotional when the rest of the family came to the door. As me and Ally parted, my eyes have already been tear filled, "H-hi everyone, I'm home" I choked out and burst into tears when I found myself in the multiple arms of my family, my sister, father and my mom.

"I missed you so much," I let out a sob and hugged them just a little tighter, "We missed you too," I heard my mom say and pulled back a little to see that just as hers, everyone's eyes were filled with tears but we were all smiling nonetheless.

I missed the arms of my mother that were able to provide me with the comfort I forgot I needed. That kind of hug that makes you feel safe and loved and at peace. There were only a few more people who's arms made me feel like that but with a mother it was always different. Mothers just have something in them that no one else does, it's probably some kind of connection they astablish with their children when they're born.

That's why I missed home so much, apart from not being in Australia, my hometown, for 7 years, I had a very strong connection with my mom and the rest of my family. I've always been raised to value family and friends the most and if I couldn't be with them it made me feel miserable.

As much as Ioved being an idol, I'd give anything if I could see my family more often. There ware countless nights I've cried myself to sleep because I felt so alone without them. But now that I was finally back, in their arms, I felt whole. Like everything was okay again, and I couldn't help but wish it could always be like this.

I wished we could have our family Saturdays together when we'd go to the park, the zoo or my favorite, the aquarium and spend time together. We've done that ever since I was little, I didn't remember a weekend that we didn't spend together, apart from the ones when dad had to go away because of work or when me or Ally had a sleepover at our friends houses.

I wished I could go to the church with them every Sunday how we used to. I remember I always offered people who were new a helping hand and that I'd show them around or just be there if they needed anything even though no one ever asked me to. I just wanted to be helpful because back then I couldn't imagine how it must've felt to become a part of a new community. And the way they smiled and made them happy made it wort it every time.

I wanted those times back desperately. As much as I hated to admit it, the last few months have been extremely hard on me. More than usual I mean. We've been traveling a lot for almost 6 months now and even though I loved nothing more than to see Blinks happy and getting to explore different parts of the world doing what I loved, it was incredibly hard and I lost every sense of home I've established in Korea. Thankfully I had Lisa with me, especially during the last month. She became my home and as long as I've been with her I felt like I could get trough anything. That's when it all have gotten much better. I felt much happier. Not that I was unhappy, I was just homesick and exhausted, and it affected me in a big way.

Everything seemed to be finally getting better but then my solo got delayed. Again. That made me feel worse once more. At times like those I missed my family even more. I was a grown woman but I needed them more than I was sometimes willing to admit.

But now that I was finally reunited with them after so long, I felt at peace. Truly at peace. Like everything that's been going on the past few months that made me feel like I didn't even deserve to be a performer, just disappeared.