fighting for my sanity

Just a toy

(A/n: this is an entry from my stress journal I'd thought I should share it)

I honestly think that everyone wouldn't notice my silence. To them I'm just another person with a name. I have no real value in anyone's life. I'm the second choice never the first. After all I don't matter, I'm simply a toy to people. Something for their amusement until they get tired of me and throw me away. I honestly think if I were to die today no one would miss me. Outside of my family only because I'm around them a lot so of course they would. After a while it would go back to as if I never existed. Is this how toys feel? When their owners don't want them anymore? As if their trash. Would i miss others if they were to die? In my mind everyone is already dead to me. They act as if I already died, as if I'm not even there unless they need something. Some form of amusement that's all I am.