society.

what I learned from my highschool "friends"

1# At the beginning of the year I stopped following classmates or people that I had no interest in their lives in my social apps.

2# I learned that the people I made friends with especially my classmates were not the definition of what a "friend" is

3# I learned that I was a people pleaser

4# I started to lose "friends" even though physically they were by my side, inside of me I felt that each time we were drifting apart.

5# The girl that bullied me for years was actually jealous of me.

6# I started to separate from "friends" because I discovered that we did not really have the same interests and tastes. I felt like they wanted me to be like them. I felt that deep down and did not fit in the group.

7# The relantionship was one-sided it was always me, texting them first, talking to them first, arraging the relantionship but the other side was dead. They didn't do anythimg to fight for the friendship, so I left and focused on my books. I stopped texting, talking to them. When I left, they didn't do anything so I discovered that it wasn't worthy this friendship.

8# I thought that the friendship I made with them was going to last till university and life, when I was actually wrong. I learned that everything happens for are a reason and that some will stay long and others are just temporary.

9# Back in highschool (well it happened this year, btw I am a senior this yr) I used to enjoy being the second hand person, I mean when her friend was not there is when she wanted me but when her friend was there I was alone. Because that is when I felt wanted.

10# I focused on what people thought of me when I sat alone in class, because I did not like to sit alone. I didn't want people to think that I was a loner, so I would always go to the library acting like I had work to do. So I spent most of my teenage years studying. But I learned and still learning to not give a fuck about what people think of me. I decided to sit alone in classes than sitting with people that I didn't fit with or didn't enjoy their company.

11# When I looked at the whole class, I saw that I did not fit in any group because there were : weirdos, the group that they thought they were popular and "beautiful" when they were actually ugly and the boys group. So I said fuck everyone and tried to find myself.

12# This school year I felt undercover, exposed and lost. I felt like the universe was against me, because I used to hide from what scared me: being alone.

13# When I left the group, I felt much better but It was difficult because I had to deal with being alone and not having anyone. When I talked to the teacher about my problems or when they called me and they say "this year you have being so alone and sad even tho your grades are excellent, you are so alone, you need talk to someome of the class" I tried to explain the reasons but they didn't give a fuck about it and they did not understand, the teachers felt like "this is just some adolescence shit as long as they pay me my money for teaching, I'm good"

14# I started to read quotes that you can relate about whats happening to you ( like the one above)

15# I used to be an addict on Instagram, when a classmate unfollowed me I used to get angry,or when they didn't like my picture, I was always online trying to like every single picture of them so they could do it back but when they didn't is when I was mad. So thats why I unfollowed them, I didn't like seeing everyone having fun but me. Just staying at home and watching people fake having fun. Classmates posting about quotes that indirectly was a message to you, so I unfollowed, it was a new year, new me. Today is july, since i have unfollowed them I feel much better and proud. It was toxic for my brain.

16# This year I'm trying to find what I like, for example: music, dressing, makeup. Rihanna is my inspiration in beauty.
ps: shout out to Fenty Beauty, buying that next year😂

At then end, highschool friendships taught me many things. Most of them didn't last, they were temporal but I also learned from it.

# I know that one day I will succeed #

A reminder: