Love & Second Chances

Chapter Seventeen - Elizabeth's POV

A wave of calmness washed over me as I gazed into the green-tinted mineral water of the Roman baths. People had been coming here for thousands of years to be healed of different illnesses and diseases. There had been so many miraculous healing stories regarding this place, that one could not help but wonder about whether they were true. Bathing in its water was supposed to do many things for your health, from curing the simplest allergies to incurable diseases. Some even claimed that both drinking and bathing in the water was good for one's skin and would increase fertility.

It had been approximately six months since the day I first learned of my arranged marriage to the governor's son. We had celebrated the new year a few months ago, but there had not been much to celebrate in my way of thinking. The wedding was set to take place next month, even though some thought of that month as unlucky, and I had to say that I was dreading each day that passed. The only thing that brought any happiness to my slowly darkening life was the few brief encounters with Garrett, which were kept highly secretive to ensure that no one discovered what some people would refer to as an affair. However, I did not think of it as such.

The reason we were currently in the town of Bath, in Somerset, was my father. He insisted that we go on a family holiday before I was married off, even though we had all been opposed to the idea. Daniel, who was now a married man, had been unable to come due to business reasons. For the first time in my life, I found myself saddened that he was not with us anymore. He was the only member of my immediate family whom I did not hate. He was the only one who had never actually done anything harmful to me. Although I had to admit that he had rarely been home before his marriage anyway, and I honestly could not blame him for that. The only thing that I did not dread about being married was that I would never have to see my parents or sister again.

Mother eventually consented to the holiday on the terms that she be allowed to purchase a new gown completely of her choosing for the wedding in addition to taking in the waters, hoping that it might make her look younger than she was. As usual, she was only concerned with herself. Although, she did insist that Alice and I come along as well. Once again she insisted that everything had to be perfect on my wedding day. So, there I was, standing in a rather simple green gown, looming over the ancient mineral waters before me.

Slowly I stepped in, watching the skirt of my dress float around me as I waded further out into the center. Mother was already at the opposite end of the bath, her face looking more at ease then I had ever seen it before. She was neither scowling nor smirking mischievously. She was simply relaxed. Not wishing to interrupt her and risk resurfacing her wrath, I kept to the side I was on. Besides, I had no desire to be anywhere near her anyway.

The water felt refreshing on my body even though it was a bit too warm for my liking. Father had originally planned on taking us to Brighton, but we had all been even more opposed to that than the idea of going to Bath. Many said that bathing in the sea was even more healthy than bathing in this mineral water. Even though there were still many who denied that claim, insisting that the roman baths were the best. I had to admit that I did prefer the baths to a certain extent. The water may be warm, but at least there was no sand to seep inside one's shoes, making it uncomfortable to walk. Besides, I would also be much more prone to getting a headache with all the direct sunlight one receives at a beach.

"Mother certainly looks relaxed," Alice said, wading up beside me. "Perhaps it was a good thing that Father brought us here."

I nodded my head in response, not even glancing over at her. "It would be nice if she was like this all the time."

That would be nice. Although there was an exceptionally small chance of that happening. I would be willing to bet money that she would return to her normal self in less than half an hour. Perhaps the effects of the calming mineral waters would even wear off on her quicker than that. All that was truly needed to do so was one simple splash of water to be directed towards her and she would be coming after us on a rampage. And since the bath was quite vacant of people at the moment, she would have no reason to hold back her fury.

"Now all we need is for Garrett to put a spider in her-" she started to joke, but stopped and looked at me. "Oh, I am sorry, Elizabeth. I did not mean to ... "

I glared at her when his name came out of her mouth. She was sorry? I found that increasingly hard to believe. She had most likely said that just to annoy me. It was just another one of her mean remarks meant to remind me of the fact that I would never be his. She was purposefully forcing my old wounds to stay open. There was a twinge of guilt spread across her face, but I was not about to fall for that. I learned my lesson that day in front of the house. She could easily pretend to be happy or sad. There was no trust in her left to be found.

As I recalled the awful day, I gritted my teeth in anger. She claimed that she never wanted anything to do with me again after that, and yet there she stood, going against her word and speaking to me with mockery in her deceptively sorrowful voice. Mother had succeeded in raising one of her children in her malicious ways. She must be beaming with pride deep down.

"Your fake sorrow no longer affects me," I said, making my expression seem as hard and unwavering as I could. "I once thought the world of you. I once thought that you were one of the only ones I could trust, but apparently I was wrong."

"It is not fake," she insisted. "I am filled with sorrow, and you can still trust me."

I scoffed. "How can I possibly trust someone who claims she is my friend one day and my enemy the next? No, you lost my trust completely. You claimed that you never wanted to speak to me again, and soon you will have your wish."

Eager to get away from her and the heat of the water, which was quickly becoming too much for me, I waded back over to the side, pulling myself out as I climbed up the steps of stone. I began to walk back towards the changing room, where we had left our regular clothes. Unfortunately, I quickly noticed that Alice was following me. Could she not bear the thought of leaving me in peace for even a moment? Keeping my head held high, I pretended that I had not noticed her and went on my way, grabbing my clothes before ducking into a private part of the room.

I quickly stripped myself of my wet soggy clothing, tossing them aside as I stepped into the dry ones and began to dress with the assistance of the lady's maid who had accompanied us. As soon as I was appropriately attired, I stepped out to go find Father, who had gone to the pump room for a drink of water. Mother had talked him into it, even though he could hardly stand the taste of it. She hoped that by doing so he too might look a bit younger. She was constantly scrutinizing all of the wrinkles on his face that she claimed multiplied overnight. In a way, I had to agree with her. Wrinkles were quite unsightly.

However, when I rounded the corner to leave, I found Alice standing there waiting for me. I groaned with displeasure. I had hoped that she had given up, or that she was at least still dressing so that I could slip away from her. It seemed that life had no compassion for me.

"I was upset at that moment, Elizabeth. I did not mean what I said."

"Yes, I am well aware of the fact that you were upset, but do you honestly think that I was completely unaffected by your sudden outburst?" I asked her. "Your words hurt me more than you could know! I wanted nothing more than for my only sister and closest friend to come running back to me. I waited, praying that you would, and you did not."

"I-I am sorry," she hung her head, too cowardly to even look me in the eye. I could not believe her. Was she so pitiful that she could not even face up to the things she had done?

"It does not matter now. It is too late. The damage has already been done," I said, my voice sounding lifeless. I was tired of arguing with her. All I wanted was to be done with it. "If your sorrow truly is sincere, then you can at least stop making excuses and leave me alone."

With that, I stepped past her to once again continue on my way. However, I had not gone far before I felt her grab hold of the fabric of my dress to stop me. What on earth could she possibly want now? I jerked myself away from her grasp, but did stop and turn to see why she had stopped me now. Would it be another excuse? Was she going to apologize again?

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. It was almost as if someone had stolen my ability to speak. No words could be mustered, nor could I even comprehend what answer to give her. Could I forgive her? The truth of the current situation was sure and simple. I could not at the moment. Would I be able to in the future although?

"I do not have an answer to that," was all that I could say.