Growing Older (Travlyn Fic)

Travis

"Why do people die?" I say. My pressed black suit is still clean and hanging in the cupboard from the last time I wore it. That was at Derek Lycan's funeral. Now I'm going to a two funerals. Two. I can't believe it. One for Cadenza who died two weeks ago and one for Melissa. Melissa Lycan died. She's dead, Cad is dead, why do people who deserve to live always die. I hold my head in my hands. Katie's at Jason's. She practically lives there now. She even takes Abby there. It hurts. Why is everything crashing down? Why? My heart hurts so much. All we do is argue and she just won't listen. It's been a week. A week. Everything hurts.
"Dada?" Abby asks. She toddles over to me, almost falling. She just learned how to walk. Katie almost missed it. We had been arguing and then we saw her.
I scoop her up into my arms.
"I'm fine, I'm good." Lies. Lies. I'm not good. Not anymore. "Let's get you dressed shall we?"
"Ya!" She laughs. She's so innocent. It's like Lina was when Derek died. But Lina understands now.
I don't want to admit that I'm loosing everyone. But I am.

"Hands to the sky, like your about to fly," I tell Abby. She doesn't really understand, but it's something my mother use to say. I gently place her hands threw the bright yellow sundress. Cadenza wants people to dress in bright colours for her funeral. She loves bright colours. Loved, I correct myself. Loved. She loved them. I close my eyes as I hold back tears. Katie's in the other room, changing. We are both ignoring each other. At least we're catching a plane to Phoenix Drop. I couldn't bare to ride for a day in silence.
"Dada?" A tear works it's way down my cheek. "Dada?"
"Sorry, Abby," I mumble. I pull what little hair she had into a spout with a yellow bow. "So pretty." She giggles. I smile sadly. Such innocents. I lift her into my arms and spin around as I see Katelyn at the door.
She looks nice. A long red dress falls to her feet.
"You look nice," I say. I have yet to get dressed.
"Thanks," she says stiffly. Why is it so awkward between us now. I walk over to her slowly, the tension between her and me is like ice.
"Abby, go see Mama," I say trying to pass her to Katelyn. She grabs my hair. She begins to scream. Hurt flashes on Katelyn's face. "I'm going to go."
Katelyn nods. She begins to sing quietly to Abby. I disappear into the other room, sobbing quietly. I want it to stop.

The funeral home is decorated with yellow flowers. Cadenza's favourite. I see Aphmau talking to Laurence. I make my way over to her, towing Abby along with me. Katelyn glides over to Kasey.
At first glance I see how awful he looks. Large dark circles are under his eyes and his hair is messy. He lost his sister. We lost a friend, but he lost his sister.
"How are you doing?" I ask quietly. Laurence looks up at me.
"Fine," he mutters. He begins to move, but I grab his wrist.
"You sure. I know how it is," I murmur. I've been having quite a few not so great days lately. He looks me in the eyes and I see how much pain is in them.
"I told you. I'm fine. It's just.... I wake up and I don't want to move. I just want to call her. I've been calling her voicemail all week just to hear her voice again." He's rambling.
"Laurence. You will find something to keep you going. For me it was Aph and..." And Katie. "But now it's her." I nod towards Abby, who's babbling to herself. Laurence shakes his head.
"I'm fine really. My therapist says this is normal with loosing a love one." He sounds almost rebooting now.
"Just talk to someone, remember to talk to Aph, okay?" He nods, br it's more like he wants to get rid of me. I release his wrist. He nods. I watch as he leaves.
I turn to Aph. She looks a little pale.
"Are you okay?" She nods.
"Just a little ill feeling. I've been to a lot of funerals lately." Her voice trails off. Her uncle, Melissa, Cadenza.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. How are you? Is something up with you and Katelyn?" I look away.
"I dunno anymore?" I hand Abby an animal cracker from the bag in my pocket. She munches on it.
"Talk to me, okay? Take your own advice." I nod.
"The ceremony is going to start soon," I say. She nods.
"It feels so unreal," Aphmau whispers. "She should of won that battle." I nod.
"Katelyn's going to sing isn't she?"
Aphmau smiles sadly.
"Uhuh. You could sing for her too. You know she loved it." I shake my head.
"I don't sing anymore." Aphmau covers her mouth with her hand.
"Excuse me," she says, running off.
"Dada? Cwaker," Abby asks. I hand her another cracker, in the shape of a zebra.

I sit next to Garroth, watching Katelyn take the stand. Irene, she's beautiful. She leans towards the microphone.
"Cadenza was one of the strongest people I knew. She was talented and lovely. She made this dress." Katelyn took a breath. "I loved her as did we all. She loved music, so Cad, this is for you."
"If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when
She stands under my colours, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it oughta be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life,
Well, I've had just enough time
If I die young bury me in satin.
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life,
Well I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life,
Well I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh." She broke off crying. I wanted to run up to her, hold her. But she wouldn't want that. So I watch as Aphmau does what I should of done. She holds her. I close my eyes.

The atmosphere of our house is like ice.
"Travis," she says. We aren't even inside yet. It was a long plane ride. I just want to go sleep. It's been a bad day.
"What?" I snap.
"I know this is a bad time, but I think we should... we should break up."
I need... I need to break up with you. No. No. No.
"What!"
"It's not working. You know it."
"It is working. Your just being stubborn. Fine. Take the record deal. I'll support you. Is this what this is about?"
"I've been talking with Jason. We have different..." my vision goes blurry.
"He just wants to get with you, you know."
"Shut it! Face it. We were only still together because of Abby!"
"Your lying to yourself! He just wants to get with you. And what about Abby? We both grew up in broken homes."
"I'll visit. She likes you more."
"I can't believe you!"
She begins to cry.
"Neither can I. I'll come get my stuff some other day." I watch as she walks away. I fling the door open then slam it shut. I place Abby in her crib before running into my room and screaming into my pillow.
Everything is crashing and burning. Everything.

*****
Sorry for the wait! Santana's great isn't she? Also ugh, I hate Jason so much. Will Travelyn stay broken? Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!
-AJKBOOKWORM