My New Home

Average Life

Jonah POV

Living in Shadyside wasn't all that bad. I have my friends and I have my family, I have my room, my dog, and music, My girlfriend (Andi Mack), but what I don't have. What I want and need so desperately, is happiness.

Lot's of people have told me that it's easy to find happiness, especially in Shadyside because of all the things you could do and all the places you can visit.

There's Coffee shops, and fairs, even restaurants. Including my favorite restaurant, the Spoon. It's where me and my friends hangout after school and just talk and eat good tater tots, which we like to call Baby taters. All these places are great but I'm never satisfied by any of it.

I just need something to make my life feel complete. Something Satisfying.
Oh and one other thing. I'm a stuck in the closet gay teen.

*Knock knock*

I heard knocking coming from my...my window? I stare at the window, thanking god that it's an automatic lock as soon as you close it. 

So using all of the strength and bravery in me, I casually walked to the window to find out where the knocking came from. As I open the window, I find the source of the knocking, wishing I had stayed in bed and pretended that I was still asleep.

I grew irritated at the fact that it was no other than the guy Who broke my heart in the sixth grade, and humiliated me. The guy who I used to have a crush on. The guy who made me realize that I should not be out of the closet to soon. It was my ex-boyfriend/ best friend Lester. "Hey Jonah, I was wondering if I could use your help" He asked. I started coming up with scenarios with what he had needed help with.

Maybe he was gonna humiliate me again. Maybe he wanted to get back together with me. But why would he? We had a good reason as to why we broke up.

"Earth to Jonah!" Lester said. Snapping me out of my thoughts and making me jump slightly as I heard his powerful muscular voice . Was I really thinking about me and Lester getting back together? "What? I'm listening" I responded. Lester gave me a,"you sure about that", kind of look.

"Good. Well did you hear me when I said I'm throwing a party for my new girlfriend Iris and I was wondering if you could get those turtle doves that you bought me for our 3 weeks anniversary? So I can romantically give one to her." he stated. That left me completely dumbfounded.

How could my ex just come to my bedroom window and ask me to get something meaningful to me, just to give it away to him and his new Girlfriend. Ugh...i hate her. It hurts to know that no one loves me. 

"I'm not sure Lo- Lester" I said, quickly correcting myself. I almost just called him love bug. It was my cute nickname for him when we were dating. He called me his little Joey bee. We were two little insects who were in love. At least that's what I thought....Long story.

"Why not?" He questioned. "Because I already gave one turtle dove to Andi as a symbol of our love" I lied. Thankful that he didn't recognize what I almost said.

He gave me a strong glare. A glare that  sent shivers down my spine. I hated when he gave me those glares because it wasn't a glare as if he hated me, it was a glare like the sexy and lusty one he used to give me before we had sex. Not gonna lie, I miss those times.

"Ok then. I'll ask Andi to show me hers tomorrow, and I'll take yours right now" he said. I remember thinking, is this kid for real. Why the hell would I or he take my girlfriend's dove away to his disaster bitch of a girlfriend.

"Um no...I have a better idea. Andi's really good at making stuff and crafting. I'll ask her to make you a special pair of doves, that way you don't have to steel and it'll be special for you and Iris" I suggested.

Iris was Cyrus's ex. Ever since she found out Cyrus was gay, she's been blaming me for it and she's been bullying me since their break up. She thinks I turned him gay, but why would she think that, I never told her or Cryus I was gay. So how could she possibly think I turned him gay.

"Ok, cool. I'm fine with that. Thanks Joey bee, oh and uh..I noticed you were about to call me love bug. You just can't resist me can you?" He Implied.

"I..I.uh...that just slipped out. I don't even like you anymore. Besides I love my Andi man" I told him. He smirked at me. I gave him a look that showed clear meaning, which said fuck you.

"Why you looking at me like that?" He asked curiously. I rolled my eyes. "Oh no reason" I tell him. "Oh ok then. wanna give me a goodbye kiss, fag?" He asked. Stupid jerk. "Leave me alone Lester, and I hate you" I told him, holding back some tears.

we stood in my room in awkward silence. Until I found him looking at me as if he was to apologise. he didn't. "Whatever" he finally spoke up. "That's it!" I raised my voice in frustration. "What's wrong with you?" He asked me. "Just the fact that your still in my house. Now... get out!" I demanded.

"Alright then, whatever. Remember my doves" he reminded me. Cautiously climbing out my bedroom window and waving goodbye. I scoffed.

When  I  noticed he was out of the clearing. I stared out the window, admiring the moon-lit sky. I swear he made me regret ever being with him.

I'm not gonna lie though, there were times where I missed him and I just wanted him to be with me again.

Even though Im in a relationship with Andi and I love her very much. I think we're better off as friends. I don't want to break her heart though. She might think I'm leaving her for another girl, or I cheated on her so I was breaking up with her as an excuse to be with that girl.

But honestly i can't worry about what she thinks. Andi has a mind like no other, she's pretty unpredictable. That's also the reason why I can't tell her I'm bisexual, she might not want to be friends anymore, she might out me. Even though I really can't see Andi doing that to anyone. I'm just scared.

Scared to face the fact that I have to deal with this alone. Afraid that everyone will abandon me and neglect me for who I am. Like I said before. It hurts to know that no one loves me.

As I patch up my thoughts, I finally close the window. Still watching the moon. I hear the automatic lock click, confirming that the window is now locked.

I take my eyes off the moon and turn it towards the bed. My home.  Oh how much I need you right now. I lift up my cozy red checkered blanket and hop onto my bed. I check my phone to see if I have any new notifications. Noticing that I don't, I just texted Andi to tell her goodnight.

....

Andi💙😛

Jonah - goodnight bby 😘

Andi - goodnight Jonah.
See you at school tomorrow 😊

Jonah - you got it Andi Man

Andi - lol why do you call me that?

Jonah - idk lol. Goodnight anyways

Andi - Lol 😂 goodnight

...

I check the time on my phone. I see it's 11:05pm. I set my phone down on my beside table and set my alarm for 7:00am, so I'm able to wake up for school in the morning. I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes gathering up my thoughts, until I see nothing but darkness cross my eyes.

Omg thank you guys for reading my book it has been crazy for me. I'm glad I finally finished this first part.

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And I will update this book everyday! So expect to get a story update. 👌👍❤️❤️❤️