Tortured Souls || BSD AtsushixReader [✔]

Chapter 7

1st person view

(y/n)

In the evening I made chazuke for dinner, because I knew it was Atsushi's favorite.

I didn't understand why, but for some reason I wanted to do something extra for the male. He let me into his home when no one else would and in return I broke his bones. Some strange sense of obligation kept lingering in my mind and body.

After dinner I excused myself to take a shower and when I returned Atsushi walked up to me with a bright smile, holding something out in front of him. I lowered my gaze and realized what it was.

"The tiger plushie", I mumbled.

"Yes! It arrived the day you went missing", Atsushi beamed.

He handed me the tiger plushie and I took it. I felt an unfamiliar tension in my cheeks when I looked up into Atsushi's purple and yellow eyes.

"Thank you, Atsushi-san."

The man-tiger's eyes went wide for a second. Then a huge smile spread across his face.

"You smiled!", he cheered. "You really smiled."

I blinked in surprise, my mouth slightly opening at his exuberant reaction. Atsushi looked at me again and laughed softly.

"Thank you, (y/n)", he said.

I didn't know how to react since I had no idea what he was thanking me for. I decided to bow my head down out of politeness.

"Oh, and I know I've said it before, but you don't have to call me san", Atsushi said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Kun is fine."

I hummed softly and walked towards the bedroom, holding the tiger plushie to my chest. I liked it very much, not just because tigers were my favorite animals, but also because Atsushi went out of his way to get it for me. I remembered how he kept rambling and mumbling about what to get me. It was very sweet.

Why do I care about this?

I banned the thoughts from my head and sat down on my bed.

"Atsushi-san", I said when he also came into the room. "You don't have to sleep in the closet. I don't mind if you put a second bed in the room or sleep in mine."

"Oh, that's alright. I'm quite comfortable in the closet", the man-tiger replied with a nervous laugh. "And Dazai-san would kill me", he quietly added as he closed the closet door behind him.

I blinked and laid down on my own bed. I wanted to sleep, but my thoughts wouldn't leave me alone. It had been years since I last thought so much. But I couldn't shake this ominous feeling in, ironically, my bones.

Why couldn't I remember anything from the past two days? Atsushi said Kenji found me in an ally, right? And I was unconscious too. Something just didn't sound right. I'd blacked out very often in the past four years. Why did I never care about that?

Wait a second... I... Who was I before four years ago?

I sat up straight and bit my lip when I realized I couldn't remember anything from before a certain point in my life. I once woke up in an ally, unconscious. Before that... Nothing. I couldn't remember a single thing.

I flinched when I suddenly heard the closet door sliding open again.

"(y/n)?", Atsushi asked in a worried tone. "Your breathing is really frantic, are you okay?"

"I... I don't remember", I mumbled more to myself than to him. "Why... Why can't I remember?"

"(y/n)", Atsushi said as he emerged from the closet. "Are you okay? Are you talking about the last two days? It's not that uncommon for people to blackout."

Not only did I know it was uncommon, but I also felt like he was trying to hide something. About the ability user whose influence I was supposedly under, perhaps?

"No, not that", I answered, my voice barely a whisper. I couldn't look Atsushi in the eye while my thoughts were running wild. "I... Before four years ago, I don't remember anything. Nothing at all. And in those four years there's so many gaps in my memory. Days, sometimes weeks that're just... gone."

I abruptly turned my head and saw that Atsushi's hand hovered above my shoulder like he was hesitant to touch me. When our eyes met his softened and he actually put his hand on my shoulder.

"You'll be fine, (y/n)", he tried to assure me. "Everyone at the Agency is working to find out what happened to you. We're going to help you."

"But... what's wrong with me?", I murmured. "How can I not remember anything? Anything at all?"

"I... don't know", Atsushi eventually said.

I silently shook my head. I just couldn't wrap my head around the situation. What I especially found weird was how I never realized any of this before. I felt something moving down my cheek and used my hand to wipe it away. I frowned when I felt that my hand got wet.

What is this liquid...? W-why is it coming out of my eyes?

Atsushi looked at me and his eyes widened. Then he shot me a crooked smile and removed his hand from my shoulder. I blinked in surprise when he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his side.

First he doesn't want to sleep in the same room and now he's pulling me against him? Why?

I sniffled and closed my eyes. I liked the feeling of being close to Atsushi. I didn't understand why and I didn't want to. In that moment there was so much I didn't understand, but one thing was very clear to me. Atsushi holding me was pleasant, so I wanted to stay that way.

2nd person view

At a certain point you fell asleep. Atsushi didn't really know what to do, so he put you down as gently as he could. After he pulled the covers over you he tiptoed out of the room.

The white-haired male pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Dazai's number. The suicidal brunette answered almost immediately.

"Why are you calling this late?", he asked. "Is something wrong with (y/n)?"

"No, she's alseep", Atsushi answered. "But she..."

"She what?", Dazai ushered.

"She's starting to become more like a normal person. I think she was the most human I've ever seen her."

"What was she like?", Dazai asked softly after a short moment of silence.

"Well, she was very stressed and confused", Atsushi awkwardly said. "She realized she didn't remember anything from before four years ago and that there were a lot of gaps in her memory. I think that's because of the ability she's influenced by."

"Yes, most likely", Dazai sighed. "I just wish we could find out what happened to her exactly."

"She was like a normal girl, Dazai-san", Atsushi said with a gentle fondness in his voice. "She smiled today, and she cried just now."

"She did?", Dazai asked in a surprised tone. "That's amazing. It means she's really making progress with you. I just wish she'd show some more of that at the office. I feel like my little sister is a robot still. She's never in one of her 'talking moments' when I'm around."

"I know", Atsushi answered. "That's quite weird actually. This morning she was talking but she stopped when you entered the room. I'll ask her about it tomorrow. Right now I don't want to wake her up, she just fell asleep."

"Yeah, you shouldn't wake her then", Dazai murmured. "Ask her about me tomorrow morning. Anything could help the investigation."

"I will", Atsushi answered. "Goodnight, Dazai-san."

"Goodnight, Atsushi-kun."