Break Up

Quarrel

"Kongpob, do you hear me?  What with your marks?  Kongpob, you have failed to clear your first year.  Why?  Can I know the reason?"

"It's not a big deal".

"It is. I, accidentally, paid  a visit to your home today and  there I met your friend M".

"Who asked you to go my house when I am not there, Arthit?"

"I don't have to ask your permission.  Mae called me and so I went to meet them".

"Oh, Mae, Por.  Mae, Por.  What about me?  Why you did not come to pick me , today?"

"Wait, you said accidentally and now you are saying Mae called you.  What is the truth?"

"Don't try to change the course of my topic, Kongpob"?

"Yes, I have failed .  So what is the problem?"

I tried to embrace Arthit while we sat on the couch watching TV or rather pretended to watch the programmes.  But he pushed me and stood up from the couch and directly went to the bed room. I followed him and tried again to pacify him.  Why was he so worried about me flunking the exams.   I came closer to him as he was standing near the window staring into nothingness.  The silence was killing me and so I placed my arms on his waist.  He did not turn or said anything.  We remained in that position staring into wilderness of our thoughts for almost few minutes.  At last, as if coming to a decision, Arthit turned towards me and unlocked himself from the grasp.  He walked few feet away from me and said,

"You have failed your exams, you have stopped going to gym or photography course, you have rejected your model assignments, you hardly go to your home, except you take things that you require, you are not talking to your parents, you have stopped hanging out with your friends, you did not know that you father had a fall and was in the hospital.  You don't pick anybody's calls.  You have become insensitive, irresponsible, aimlessly wandering day in and day out.  You have stopped loving  and caring for your parents and friends.  You have changed a lot in these two months.  Why?   Kongpob?"

"What a long list of my character dissection Arthit?"

"That is not my answer.    Tell me.  I demand an explanation.".

"What do you want to know?   Want to know that  I love you and anything or anyone that will take me away from you, will definitely be left by me far, far away.  Is the explanation enough?"

"Are you an obsessive lover or what?  Don't act like a psycho or a maniac? You have your own life, career, ambition, likes, dislikes, your parents, your responsibility and of course, your friends."

"All I know is YOU ARE THE BREATH OF MY LIFE.  I LOVE YOU AND I AM ASKING YOU TO  BE MY LOVER.  HERE, I HAVE PURCHASED THIS SILVER CHAIN WITH MOON PENDANT FOR YOU.  ACCEPT THIS AND BE MY LOVER.  I CANNOT BE AWAY FROM YOU EVEN FOR A MINUTE.  THOSE 10 HOURS OF SEPARATION WHEN YOU GO TO OFFICE IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO BEAR, ARTHIT.  I WANT YOU NOT JUST ROMANTICALLY, BUT PHYSICALLY TOO. I WANT TO HAVE YOU IN ALL POSSIBLE WAYS.  I WANT TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO YOU. BE MINE AND MAKE ME YOURS. I LOVE YOUR CABOOSES".

"My god, at first I thought I have got a kid for a boyfriend.  But now, I feel a psycho.  Definitely no.  I won't be your lover".  I don't want a man who cannot take care of his parents.  I don't need an ungrateful son.  I don't want to be blamed for it".

"Arthit, no, please, don't say such things.  I  swear, I will die without you.  I want you in my life.  I am addicted to you.  I cannot be without out.  Please be my lover.  Please, Arthit."

Arthit without turning back just left the room and after that I heard the banging of the main door.  He left me.  He left me.  I cried and cried afraid to go behind him.  What, what if he broke up with me.  No, no, no, I could not take that.  No, no, no..............

Almost, after half an hour, I heard the door open and the footsteps approaching the room.  I l sat on the floor crossed legs.  My head resting on one of the sides of the bed.  My tear-stained face and tired eyes looked in the direction of Arthit with the discarded chain lying on the floor beside me by Arthit.  He took few steps towards me and sat down beside me. He turned towards me and wiped my face. He kissed my cheeks and laid my head on his lap.  

"Kongpob, you want me to be your lover."

"Yes".

"I will be your lover.  Now, sleep peacefully.  I am here with you".  He tapped my head gently and I fell asleep."

The next morning when my eyes opened, I found myself lying alone on the floor, with my head on the pillow and a quilt covering me in the empty flat and a note weighed on my arm.  

Kongpob,

I cannot be your lover unless and until you realize your responsibilities.  Don't try to meet me for next two days if you really love me.  Try to bear this separation.  Since, I am really upset.  I need some space.  Don't look out for me.  I won't come to my flat.    I am going out of station for some official work.  Don't try and follow me there.  If you really love me.

Arthit

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