Figuring You Out

Chapter Forty

I smile faintly at my sleeping boyfriend who was wrapped in a blanket previously belonging to my bed, curled around himself in the hospital chair. It's fair to say I'm obsessed with him. I've stared at him since he gave into slumber and have taken fifty photos. There's a scratching sound of the curtain drawing, I give it a brief glance expecting a nurse or doctor to be there but I have to do a double take when I see a dishevelled Liam standing in my room.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper, conscious of Red.

"I need to tell you something," he says, seriously, his gaze dropping to the floor, "Please,"

My heart thumps in my chest, he was one of the last people I wanted to speak to right now but seeing him like this he is the same boy who stammered his way through his geography presentation in year seven and begged me to help him redo it over break, and like then I desperately wanted to help him. I sigh at myself but nudge Red's hands that were clasped together, he stirs momentarily and then drifts back into sleep. I feel myself swell with fondness but grasps his hands tighter, "Babe," he awakes fully this time.

"What's wrong?" he asks, tone concerned. I smile again.

"Nothing's wrong," I assure, its only then he sees Liam's figure lurking at the doorway.

"Why the hell is he here?" he snaps, instantly awake and ripping off the blanket and addressing me without the slightest acknowledgment he is in the room.

"I'm going to talk to him and then he will leave," I explain calmly, he stands pulsing for a moment before rounding on Liam.

"I know you think I'm the geek who reads but trust me if you hurt him-"

"You don't have to worry about that," Liam interrupts, "If he doesn't want anything to do with me after today, then I'll never speak to him again. You have my word,"

He sighs in defeat and gives me a quick but meaningful peck on the cheek, something I don't think I'll ever get over, "Text me if you need anything,"

"I will, it's ok though," I assure, he unhooks his jacket from the corner of the chair and leaves. Liam hovers for a moment, shifting uneasily on his feet.

"What?" I snap.

"I..." he stammers, I cringe as my heart squeezes for him, "There's a video,"

"About what?"

"I'm not sure you'll want to see it," he says.

"Either show me or tell me what it is or alternatively get out,"

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he murmurs, sitting on the edge of the seat with his elbows on his knees, he scrolls through his phone as a lump appears in my throat.

He pauses having evidently found said video, I huff with impatience and grab the phone off him the video already playing. But all of a sudden air doesn't seem to be going in my lungs, because it's me.

It's me.

The back of my black jacket and backpack, my ruffled hair and earphones, three guys pumping footsteps racing towards me and I'm flipped onto the ground, earphones dragged onto the ground as a guy swings a harsh kick at my side. I recoil at the flashback and the new bound pain coming to my right side, I dare a glance to Liam who is looking sheepishly at his feet. A loud shout and curse, brings my gaze back to the video in which I am writhing on the ground while blood spills down my nose and shirt, my breath catches in my throat and I want to stop it but I can't. I can't. I can't.

"Olly,"

"Shut up,"

The video rolls on with two more pairs of feet stepping into the frame, and all are kicking at me, stamping on me. I roll onto the side of the curb and splutter out remnants of blood as the video ends with the original set of feet running to an abrupt end.

"Why have you got this video?" I ask, keeping my tone masked as to not let the immense bubble of anger erupt. He looks to me with pleading eyes but my expression remains stern, "Well?"

"I paid off these guys, told them to mess with you a bit," he admits sheepishly there's a beat of silence but everything in me is booming.

"Mess with me?" I spit.

"It wasn't meant to be this," he pleads, he looks about ready to cry, "I didn't know they were going to go this far,"

"And if you did? What? You would have stopped them?" I accuse.

"You know I would,"

"So, what was it meant to be then? A few punches? Few broken ribs?"

"It was just...meant to scare you,"

"Well, I'll tell you something it fucking worked," I seethe.

"I'm sorry,"

"Surprisingly it doesn't cut it," I snap

"I just thought that-" he starts. But it clicks.

"That if I thought it was a homophobic attack I would end things with Red and things would go to back to normal?"

He sighs and nods, "It's pathetic, I know," he shrugs, "I'm on my way to the station now. I'll take my punishment I just...thought you should know," turning to leave.

"Are you that scared of losing our friendship?" I ask, he turns back around with a hopeful expression.

"You are like a brother to me, another son to my mum. I thought you felt the same,"

"I do Liam,"

"Then why did you keep it from me?" he asks quietly. I shift uncomfortably.

"Since we were little we have shared everything- schools, sport, interests. This was the first thing that was mine, Liam, all of it was mine. Nobody else had a part of it. It was just me and him and I felt something, I felt alive and young because I am in love. And I'm sorry if that upsets you or hurts you, but if you are asking me to choose between you and him. I choose him. Every fucking time"

"You will always be my brother, Oliver," he says, "I will be sorry for the rest of my life for what I did to you," he turns with finality of sadness.

"Don't go to the police," I say, my heart tugging, "Please,"

"Why?"

"Because I still care about you. I hate myself for it but I still care about you," I say, he practically runs towards me and launches himself into a hug. We stay like that for a matter of moments, it's not romantic or loving it's just us. Me and Liam.

He pulls away with a slap to his back after a few moments, "I'll let you have some rest,"

"Can you sit for a bit?" I ask, he nods with a beaming smile.

"Yeah, ok," he smiles, I fly a few texts to my parents and Red saying I needed some rest, "Since we are being honest and all that..." I flick my head up to him again, "Don't look like that it's nothing bad. It's just... me and Leah have been talking,"

"Leah?"

"Yeah, the one in your media,"

"I know who she is, I just don't understand why you are interested in her considering what she did,"

"It wasn't really her," he shuffles.

"You're joking, right?" I scoff, rather deadpan. He sucks his teeth as an answer and I groan into my hands, "She's a different person when you speak to her alone,"

"I'll take your word for it,"

"I'd rather you see it for yourself," he says, edging closer to me in his seat, "Why don't you come with us to this waffle place? Maybe you could ask Red?"

"Oh, and you think that will bode well, do you? He went through the roof when you came within five foot of me and now you are expecting him to sip milkshakes with you on a double date. Are you insane?"

"Maybe,"

"Oh my God,"

"Look, like you just said you're my best mate and I'd really like your opinion on whether I'm making a mistake or not,"

"Let me think about it," I snap sarcastically, "Oh, you're making a huge mistake,"

"Please," he sighs, "Please, give her a chance,"