Figuring You Out

Chapter Twenty-Five

I am getting lost in his lips, his face, his touches when my phone buzzes in my pocket, he pulls away slightly but my lips stay attached to his, I feel him smirk and then pushes me slightly away on my chest.

"Answer it," he says, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. I whine but answer the call from my Dad.

"Oliver, get home, now," he says sternly, then cuts off the call. I slide the phone back in my pocket and hold the boy in front of me at arm's length, staring at his oceanic eyes in what feels like forever, I start to miss the feeling of him on my lips so pull him back in for another kiss which he doesn't object to. After a few more heated kisses and secret touches down his back covered blazer, we are bot breathless with love.

"I'd better go," I say, resting my head on his with my eyes closed, I feel him hum in agreement but doesn't move away from our position.

"I'll speak to you later?" he asks, smoothing down his upturned collar.

"I'd like that," I smile, he goes to walk away but I pull him back by the sleeve of his arm, "I... can we keep this between us? I'm not exactly..."

"Of course, it'll be our secret for a while," he smiles, he steps forward and wraps his arms around my chest, I lean down and wrap my arms around his small frame my head tucking into his neck.

"You ok getting home?" I ask, he laughs a little and I find myself smiling at his laugh.

"Yes, I'll be fine," he assures, this time turning away and escaping down the alleyway with a knowing smile. I stand there for a moment in complete exhilaration. I'd just kissed a boy. I 'd just a kissed a real life fucking gay boy and it felt so right I didn't understand how anyone could think it could be wrong. My phone pings again with a text from Dad, angry as hell but I couldn't care less. I just wanted to kiss him again, let my hands not shake so I could explore him more and stare in his crazily blue eyes.

I snap out of it with another text and begin to jog home, knowing I was going to be in a big pile of shit when I got home. I get home and unlock the door as quietly as possible with the intention of slipping into the house unnoticed, I crack open the door and see Dad walking down the top of the stairs, his arms full of his laundry. He meets eyes with me instantly and moves roughly past me.

"Sit down," Dad sneers, as my right foot steps on the first stair. I groan and make my way to the living room where I slouch on the sofa, "Sit up," he snaps, I make a half-hearted attempt at sitting up and give him a sarcastic challenging look as he stands in front of me.

"James, calm down," Mum says, running a comforting hand down his arm, then sitting down beside me, "Darling, we wanted to talk to you about something," she says, cautiously taking one of my hands in hers.

"What's going on?" I ask, directing this question at Dad who's running a hand through his hair, he lets out a frustrated huff and swings a wooden chair from the table round so he can sit on it.

"I've been offered a job," Mum starts, I whip my head around, "In Paris," she pauses, waiting for my reaction, "That's why I was there a few weeks back, it was for the interview, I got it,"

"Right," I nod, unsure of how to feel, "Are you going to accept?"

"I don't know yet," she tries, I swallow down a lump of hurt and fear.

"We wanted to hear your opinion on it," Dad says cautiously, his anger dispersed instantly. I take a moment to recover myself, breathing deeply as Mum shifts uncomfortably sharing glances with my father who's watching me too closely.

"Do you want the job?" I ask just to break the silence. I lean down and untie my shoelace to hide my reddening face.

"Not if it will make you unhappy," she replies, as I make two loops on my lace, I nod, silently urging her to continue, "Dad still would be based in London," she waits again, "Yeah, Dior are paying for the apartment, its two bed so you could always come and visit,"

"Oh, well, that makes it alright then," I say, throwing my arms in the air.

"Oliver," Dad growls, I stare back at him determine not to back down he losses and breaks away by staring at his lap first.

"Just take it," I say, "You obviously want to, so-"

"No, Oliver, I don't want to just leave if that's not what's right for us as a family,"

"You're hardly ever here anyway? So maybe when you're in a separate country you could actually manage a phone call,"

"That's not fair," Mum states, getting up rather hysterical now.

"No, you're not fair!" I burst, standing and rounding on both Dad and Mum, "Dumping all this on me and expecting me to go along with it"

"Why do you think we came to you first? I haven't taken it yet and I won't if you don't want me to," she pleads, stepping forward and attempting to grab my hands, I step back and storm upstairs, "Olly, please, come on," I pause for a mere second halfway up the stairs before physically shaking off my mothers pleas and sprinting up to my room where I sit at the desk with my head in my hands. My phone emit light with a text, I groan but look at it anyway.

R: Don't forget your revision for tonight. It's on energy

I sigh and tip my head back, internally groaning at the amount of complicated equations and hefty revision guides that surround my desk. I could just sack it off. But I promised him and suddenly the thought of a few revision cards didn't sound so bad. So, with a great effort my pen twiddles in my hand and my head shakes with mild confusion.