Time to Move On

A Few Days Later (Sunday)

"Meet me at the park after having some breakfast." I text.

"Ok see ya there."

I told Chris to meet me at the park, because I need a getaway. It's also a place I love to be,whether alone, or with some friends. I see Chris park and walk to me. We don't say anything. I hold out my hand (which he takes), and I lead him to a secluded area. A pond nearby glitters in the sunlight. We sit down and...silence. Nothing more, nothing less. It's been about a month since Chris and I started dating. Honestly, I love it. Just him being there, makes me happier. But lately I started feeling that we want different things. He lives in a different town. We barely see each other as is. But don't get me wrong, when he's around, it's AMAZING. But we've both been off the radar lately and have sort of distance. And I hate myself for that. But I have to be honest.

"Chris?"

"Yes?"

"Um I want to talk about us." I say pointing at him and I. He starts looking nervous but straightens himself.

"What do you want to say?"

"I feel like we want different things..." I bite my lip.

"Oh no Cathy. Don't say that..."

"Listen to me...please Chris." My eyes plead for his attention. "We live in different towns and-"

"What's that got to do with this?"

"We barely see each other. I don't like that." I say, clearly noticing his pained expression. "Lately, we haven't seen each other and it felt like that made us distanced. I hate to admit it, but that hurts. It hurts that we can't be there for each other all the time. I guess I was wrong about being able to start over, and I can't handle it."

"Yes we can Cathy. We can work it out." he pleads, tears welling his eyes.

"I feel like I need some time to figure out where I stand on this. School has been taking most of my time, and-" At this point, I'm crying. "I don't want to do this but, I feel like with time, we can heal. And hopefully find our way back to each other." I can't even fake a smile.He can only nod.

"I Understand where you are coming from and I respect that. But Cathy, if you really want to do this...Just know that you did nothing wrong, and whatever happens, I will ALWAYS be here for you." We both shed tears in silence. Through my blurry vision I see Chris. I didn't realize that there was a part of Chris that made him fragile. Like he could break any moment. So, I kiss him one last time. To heal all of our wounds. To mend broken hearts. To start anew. My breath hitches as I imagine a day without him. My hot tears spill onto his lips. We part and just sit there. It's all we know to do now. He brushes my hair away from my face and stands up.I stand up too, watching the real Chris unfold before my eyes. We hug for a last time, together forever.. Our heartbeats match as they slow down together. I break away and look at him, "Never forget that I love you. That this is not the end. We are still so young."

"I love you too Cathy. I hope to see you again someday." We both leave in seperate directions to our cars. I sit in mine and take a deep breath. That just happened. My head falls into my heads and I cry. I cry for Jax, for Chris, for Jo, for everything that I love. I drive over to Jo's house to tell her what just happened.

"Hey!...Cathy? What's wrong? Did Chris do something?" Jo asks.

"It's a long story Jo."

"Uh oh."

"I haven't talked to him for sometime because I started to question if I was ready for a new relationship. Neither has he. And I felt that it got in the way of our relationship. Plus the added travel time to see each other and that we always can't be there."

"So you told him what?"

"I need some time to myself. That maybe we can find our way back to each other." I shrug my shoulders.

"Cathy. You did what's best for you. In a relationship, you need to work on bettering yourself. But sometimes, isolating yourself isn't the best option."

"Are you saying I shouldn't have broken up with him?"

"I'm saying that sometimes it's best if both people work together on bettering themselves, rather than alone."