The Happy Birthday To Me Chronicles

🙉🙈🙊

(Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil)

A mash up fanfiction that focuses on Saiouma and Komahina

The Mage
I sat by the slow river, dragging my feet through the soft current. The sky was a pale, clear blue, the kind you'd see in movies and books when the protagonist was having a great day. The clouds were fluffy and white, the whole expanse smelled of lilies, and there was nothing to ruin the moment.

"Saihara-chan~!" The assassin I knew so well came running down the field, holding a bouquet of lilies. "Look Saihara-chan! They have so many lilies out right now! I picked a dragonlily just for you!" He smiled and plopped himself down next to me.

With the cool winds and slight breeze, our hair blew slightly to the right, exposing our foreheads a little. "Wow Saihara-chan! You look so handsome when your forehead is exposed!" I blushed and looked away. "Y-You look really cute when yours is exposed too.." Crap! I sound like I have a forehead fetish! He's probably gonna laugh again..

"Nishishi~! Thanks Shu! I love getting compliments from you!" I blushed harder and stood up, dragging my feet out of the water.

"Eh? We're leaving already? But our Knight and Priest haven't gotten here yet!" He exclaimed. I rustled his hair and smiled at his puffed cheeks. "For someone so cute, I'm surprised you're the highest ranked assassin here. Looks are definitely deceiving," I said. He smiled and poked me in the side. "That's the only thing you can expect from the notorious Kokichi Oma! I, the cutest assassin to ever live, will conquer with my high level guild!"

I laughed and took hold of his hand, walking with him back into the market.

The Priest
My humble Knight was grabbing an apple before the attack. Sure, the attack was nothing we couldn't handle, but the fact that he could be surprised in such a way. I'm glad I can provide my service to my humble Knight. As long as I am his priest, I shall heal him in every time of struggle.

However, the attack was just from our pesky assassin. He loved to prank anyone and everyone, thus earning his name as the Killer Jester, meaning the Joker that could kill us all. "Ah, Komaeda! Do you want an apple too?" He asked. I smiled and walked up to him. "Do they have fuji apples here?" I asked.

He smiled and handed me one. "Let's regain our stamina so we can find-" A knife was brought up to his neck. "Hinata-kun!" I was ready to heal him, but then the assassin revealed their face.

"Heyo! Didn't expect that, huh?" Oma asked. I sighed in relief and gave a half hearted smile. Hinata, somehow expecting this, shoved Oma's head down to the ground.

"When the highest level assassin tries to attack the highest level Knight, do you think it'll go down well?" Hinata asked, veins pulsing as he gave a venomous smile. Oma apologized many times over and sprung himself up.

"Sorry, sorry Hinata-kun! I should never estimate the highest level Knight again! Especially when the highest level Priest is by his side!" Saihara chuckled in the back and slung Oma over his shoulder, spanking him.

"Sorry about that. We should get to our base before we attract any more attention." I smiled at the highest level Mage. We were all the highest level, making our guild, Future Finders, the number one.

The Assassin
I grumbled as I was hung over Saihara's shoulder, but took the opportunity to observe his ass. Saihara-chan's fault for letting me in this position! I can easily harass him back for spanking me! I raised my hand as high as it would go, given my positioning, and released it, spanking Saihara very hard.

"Ow! Oma-kun! You little brat!" Saihara set a little flame on his finger and pressed it against my butt. "Owie! You're so mean Saihara-chan! I was just getting back at you for spanking me!" The mage mumbled something as they opened the door to their guild base.

"Isn't Hinata-kun just wonderful for finding this beautiful base? It's amazing Hinata-kun!" The Priest fawned over the Knight, smiling with a red face. Hinata grumbled and kissed the priest quickly, shutting him up. "God, what it takes to make you silent." Hinata said, smiling. I giggled and flipped off of Saihara's back.

"If I talk a whole bunch like Priest-chan, can I get kisses too Shumai?" I asked, tugging on his coat. Saihara blushed. "Eh?! O-Oma-kun..." Saihara looked away in embarrassment, making me pout.

"I want kisses too-" Saihara surprised me with a quick kiss, on my forehead and lips. "Y-You could've just said so." He mumbled, pulling out his spellbook. I smiled wide.

The Knight
The Assassin and Mage had been dating for a while, but not as long as the Priest and I. Ever since I met Komaeda, we had been inseparable. I never understand how he can look up to me so much, but he truly is amazing.

As I watched the two flirt, I glanced at him. He was playing with his hair, smiling and blushing. I wrapped my arms around him from the back and nestled onto his shoulder.

His soft and cute giggle came as he tilted his head to kiss my forehead. "My Knight is truly magnificent. If I could give a million jewels to the most amazing Knight, you would be the wealthiest man alive Hinata-kun!" Komaeda caressed my cheek, somehow healing my heart in a way only his powers could do.

"You are truly magnificent Komaeda." I kissed him again and smiled softly. "Blegh, so cute! It makes me wanna vomit! Even Shumai and I aren't that cute, and we're the cutest couple!" Oma kissed Saihara on the cheek, holding his arm tightly.

"Yeah yeah. Let's get going. We have a quest." I said, pulling Komaeda up onto his feet. "Oh, a quest! Yay! Let's go Shumai! Let's go!"

The four boys headed out of their base, smiling, laughing, and holding hands.