A summer depression

How to deal with Struggles Act 2

It's a day like many others, but at midnight it's time - I'll write another one-side story.
I don't know exactly what I'll write about, but I am sure that I'll find a topic.
Five hours and twenty-six minutes later – Now I have found a theme to write about.
So have you ever felt left behind, because no one chats with you the whole day like I felt?
I don't know that, but I can tell you that I am feeling so bad right now, because no one chats with me or hugged me today. Yesterday I got so many hugs from LGBTQ+ community related peoples and I am so grateful to them and I also got kisses, phone numbers and Instagram names, yay.
For fuck sake, why is no one replying to my messages, why me?
WHY ARE THEY AREN'T REPLYING?
It kills me, IT REALLY DOES..
I can't even be okay with myself when no one reply to my messages and I can't handle this, because did I make wrong? Why can't they reply when they are online?
WHY DO YOU NOT REPLY TO MY MESSAGES BUT TO MESSAGES FROM OTHER PERSONS, WHY?!
Answer me please or are you ignoring me on purpose, what's your plan? I am cry – well thanks.
I can't handle this, I can not stay strong, I don't want to keep on fighting, I do not want to be lonely.
You said that I shouldn't hurt myself any more, but you are gone,
SO HOW COULDN'T HURT MYSELF? HOW? TELL ME RIGHT NOW! YOU HAVE ALREADY HURT ME TOO, THANKS!
You are gone, like everyone else who said "I will not leave you, I promise" HA HA fuck you.
You are kidding, aren't you? WHERE YOU? You are gone, thanks for the next knife in my soul.
YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DIE, WHY? CAUSE YOU USED ME TO CHEAT ON YOUR BOYFRIEND AND GAVE ME CHANCES.
You said that you're probably in love with me and suddenly you remember yourself that you are NOT single. YOU and ONLY YOU broke me more than anyone else, with your fucking words, not even cutting myself hurts so much like your words.
Now? Now I am still alive – still breathing the air you took me away after leaving me bleeding.. Oh why was I so blinded by your cute smile? WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME? WHY?!
Thanks for nothing.
I want to run away or just die so much right now, you're the reason for my fake smile right now.
Good enough to cheating your boyfriend, but not good enough for anything else, why did you even choose me then? Was it your plan? WHEN DID YOU PLAN THIS, WHEN? ANSWERS ME – no reply.
I can't sleep, I broke down in the bus which brought me home, FAR AWAY FROM YOU, but took the memories with me. You was marked for a place in my heart, but now:
YOU ARE IN MY DEATH NOTE BITCH. No, it wasn't your fault that I liked you, it was mine, but it was your decision to use me to cheat on your partner, which you actually love, like you told me, oh yeah you are poly-amorous, well okay, but that DO NOT gives you the right to hurt me, or? Does it?!
End – I can't write anything else any more. Thanks for reading it. I am out.