The Forgiveness That I seek( Published)

Chapter 1

Bharat stood in front of the funeral pyre. It was the day Ram's vanvas was supposed to end. Evening was fast approaching and still there was no sign of Ram. Hence Bharat had set up the pyre to jump in it. Kaikeyi and Mandavi were crying and Urmila was trying desperately to calm them down.

It was the most anticipated day in Urmila's life. After fourteen years she will see her husband. But Bharat jeeju's vow didn't give any reprise to think about her feelings about seeing Sumitranandan after fourteen long years. She consoled her elder sister who was crying in her lap to have faith  in Ram jeeju. He will not allow such a catastrophe to fall on Ayodhya.

But Mandavi was far from consoled and Urmila darted her eyes towards where Bharat was standing. Guru Vashishth was debating with him not to do anything in hurry and the three mothers' also echoing guru's feelings. But Bharat jethji looked hell bent on fulfilling is vow.

As the sun started setting in the horizon Bharat started taking the round of the pyre. Mandavi tried to rush to her husband, but Urmila and Kirti held their sister tightly. As Bharat was about to take the third round suddenly a noise was heard from above. As everyone looked they saw Hanuman. He came down and quickly held back Bharat from the pyre.

To the crowd who was standing astonished Hanuman conveyed the good news that Ram, Sita and Lakshman were approaching Ayodhya in the Pushpak Vimana. He had been sent early as Ram was worried about Bharat and wanted the news to reach him. The mothers blessed Hanuman for bringing joy and the atmosphere of gloom immediately changed to festive.

Bharat ordered everyone to light lamps in their houses to welcome Ram and he gave instructions to decorate the palace as he wanted the entire Ayodhya lighted up and looking beautiful when his dear brother enters it after fourteen long years.

Urmila ran to the palace. Her heart was beating fast. As she gave instructions for the decorations a small smile spread on her lips.

" Urmila, Ayodhya is waiting for Ram. But I know the blush on my sister's face is for someone else", Urmila turned and found Mandavi standing behind with lamp. She had stopped crying and was now laughing at her.

"Urmila didi do one thing. Let me and Mandavi didi decorate the palace. You go and dress up. When Lakshman jeeju enters let his eyes stay only on my beautiful Urmila didi", Kirti joined Mandavi in teasing Urmila.

" See I am fine like this. No need to dress up and all. Let me finish lighting up this corridor", Urmila tried to turn away from her sisters, only to see her mother in law Sumitra standing in front of her.

" It is needed Urmila. Very much needed. There are enough people in the palace to take care of all these things. I have kept your dress and solah sringaar ready. When my son enters, I want him to see my daughter in law dressed up like a bride. It's the new beginning for both of you. You have done a sacrifice no other woman can imagine doing. Now its time for you to look into your life", told Sumitra as she instructed one servant to take Urmila to her room.

Once inside the room Urmila looked at the yellow green lehenga her mother in had kept. She began to dress up and memories came.

" Urmila why are you taking so much time in dressing. It is Sita's swayamvar. Not yours, came in her mother Sunaina.

"Maa just a few mins adjusting my maang tikka, told Urmila. Sunaina arranged her daughter's maang tikka and mentioned she is looking fine and ordered her to come out as it was time to take Sita to the swayamvar venue.

Urmila turned and checked the maang tikka and adjusted it, till she felt it was right. She wanted to adjust it a little more but she heard her mother shouting and rushed out. How was she supposed to tell yes it was Sita didi's swayamvar? If the elder prince Ram had stolen her didi's heart, the younger prince Lakshman had made a place in her heart too. Also when she saw them in the temple yesterday the younger prince had politely pointed out her maang tikka was out of place. She didn't want him to see her again that day with her maang tikka placed incorrectly. She hoped it was correct as she rushed down the stairs.

Urmila came back to present as she adjusted her maang tikka. Her husband always loved to tease her telling she didn't know to put maang tikka correctly. Urmila adjusted maang tikka. She didn't want him to tease her that day too. Once finished putting all jewellery she looked herself in the mirror and blushed. She was looking beautiful. She had dressed up the way her husband had always wanted to see her.

Meanwhile a servant came and announced she has been asked to come down as prince Ram along with Sita and Lakshman was supposed to enter the palace at any point of time. Urmila smiled as she accompanied the servant.

Sumitra apprised her daughter in law as she came down. She was looking ethereal and could single handedly light up the entire palace on that amavasi day. She went beside her and smiling gave the aarti ki thali in her hand.

Urmila took the thali and as she waited for him her mind was racing. She thought about what all she will speak to her husband that night. Then will she able to speak or will she just cry in his arms. She was choking in emotions. So much was closed inside her and she just wanted to let go of everything that night in her husband's arms. It has been fourteen years since she had felt those strong arms and she hoped their separation would end that night.