...Until You've Lived Like Kings & Queens - 2. BOOK - Take That FF (in English)

One Sweet Light In The Darkness

When Gary heard Robbie's story end and he had thought about it, on the one hand a small piece of load fell off his shoulders, but shortly afterwards a centrally heavy one opened up and made him feel bad again. Ok. He may not have been able to break anything now, but that now also meant to him that he had significantly influenced Robbie's life through his actions ...and not for the good. While agonizing himself with the worst guilt of all, he suddenly became weak in his legs, thus sinking to the ground again, right next to Robbie. Actually, his body advised him to use the favor of the hour and thus disappear as quickly as possible, but this one time, he could not muster the necessary strength. With the growing sense of an unstoppable emptiness – which collapsed in an eternal nothingness, with his heart beating to his neck extremely painfully, Gary suddenly felt something of helpless like never before. None of this was allowed to be true. Never would it have crossed his mind that Robbie's pain around him would take so much and thereby throw it off track completely. All the while, he had honestly thought to himself that Robbie had already had to be resigned to his death and forgot. After all, a full five years had passed since then. Five years!

"Oh Rob. I'm ...I'm really terribly sorry about all of this. If I ...I would have known how you fared like this all the time, then ...then... then ..., "Gary struggled with the worst guilt toward Robbie, who he had ever felt for him, trying to somehow express his speechlessness in an exceedingly weak and shaggy voice, "I ... I had always thought you already have two children with Ayda and live a happy life and ... That you've forgotten me for years."

"Forget about you? How do you get on that? I could never do that in life. Never. That's ...what you've been you're and always will be a part of my life. ...Without you, my life is worth only half." Robbie confessed, while a thick tear was cured over his cheek.

On this one more than memorable sight of Robbie, Gary immediately slipped his language and also lost the ability to breathe freely. He had never seen his friend like that. It broke his heart and he had always wanted the best for Robbie. That one day he would have his own family and continued to enjoy great success as one of the best solo artists in England. He deserved it. But the way his "death" knocked him out of the way and since then has been completely out of the way, made Gary think. What should he do now, please? Run away again and live his life on the street as usual, or ask Robbie to join him and that's they both - together - fled until other ends of the world? But he couldn't ask Robbie for the latter. No. He couldn't do that to him. Ok. He could stay here and help Robbie live a regular life again. But from Gary's point of view, this option simply carries too many risks. Starting with the fact that sooner or later the legal consequences of his act - the exchange of dental documents and thus he had faked his own death - could catch up with him and he got massive trouble as a result. Or how he met at least one of his former Take That boys and saw him as a nasty and deserted traitor, who had also let them down in the midst of the compilation of a new album. He was just as well able to meet Dawn, who then certainly declared him a completely worthless nothing. Even the idea that his three children no longer wanted to see him as their father made him mad. No. He did not even want to get in the way of one of the imagined scenarios. From this point of view, he had no choice but to return to the street. But to return to this one place from where he had just come and fled with it, Gary somehow did not want to.

But this terrible rift, which raged inside like a gigantic and all-destroying sandstorm, also made him blind and insensitive, and so Gary did not even know which direction to take. Even in his own created and dark world, not even the slightest sign opened up, which led him to the next best horizon and from where he only had to jump into his so-called fate. But what if this one fate brought him back here and thus determined his future life? That he could then forget every single and even the smallest hope for something better, forever?