48. setting fire to the past
QUINN
EVENING HAD FALLEN AS THE THREE OF THEM SAT ON THE PORCH, their jars of moonshine next to them. Beth was leaning against the wooden poles that kept the porch standing. Daryl sat across from her with Quinn in the middle, drinking the moonshine, trying get rid of the icy pain that lingered in her heart.
'I get why my dad stopped drinking,' Beth suddenly spoke up.
'You feel sick?' Daryl questioned.
'Nope,' the teenager replied. 'I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad.'
Quinn found herself chuckling at that.
'You're lucky you're a happy drunk,' Daryl told her.
'Yeah, I'm lucky,' Beth said. 'Some people can be real jerks when they drink.'
'Yeah,' Daryl said, pushing his knife into the wood of the porch. 'I'm a dick when I'm drunk.'
A laugh left Quinn's lips as she stared at him, making Daryl raise his eyebrows at her. 'What?'
'Oh,' she said, reaching for the jar of moonshine, 'you're not just a dick when you're drunk.' She took a sip of the alcohol, keeping her gaze focused on Daryl as he stared right back at her. Even though she had intended for it to be a joke, clearly Daryl could feel the hidden meaning behind the words. She didn't hate the guy, she didn't even dislike him but that didn't make him any less of a dick.
'Merle had this dealer,' Daryl suddenly said, moving his gaze away from Quinn and back to his knife. And Quinn found herself sitting up straight, eager to hear more about his brother. 'This janky little white guy, a tweaker. One day we were over at his house, watching TV. Wasn't even noon yet and we were all wasted. Merle was high.'
Neither Quinn or Beth interrupted him, scared he would stop talking if they did. He didn't look at either of them, his gaze focused on his knife as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
'We were watching this show,' he continued, 'and Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it. And he wouldn't let up, Merle never could.'
Quinn found herself smiling at that. No matter what she told herself, or what she told others, she missed the man and she hadn't even known him all that well. She couldn't even begin to imagine how Daryl must feel. Although, with Milo gone, she could slightly understand.
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COLLAPSED ᵀᵂᴰ¹ ✔
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