Whiskey Latte

February, 2017

February, 2017

Ingrid took a swig of whiskey before she loaded her morning latte. Valentine's Day had come and gone, but now Dale was making plans to take her to the Berlinale. His time in Germany was coming to an end and he wanted to go out with a bang. Ingrid wasn't sure she wanted to be part of that bang.

As if her thoughts had conjured him up, Dale emerged from her bedroom and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Morning," he greeted and kissed her cheek.

"Personal space, Dale," she chided him.

He retreated, putting his hands up.

"Sorry," she said, "I don't have time to be affectionate in the mornings."

Dale leaned against the edge of the kitchen table, a bitter smile plastered on his lips.

"You never have time to be affectionate."

"Maybe I'm just not affectionate," Ingrid retorted, irritated.

"What have I ever done to you?" he asked out of the blue. "You're the one who...you seduced me, only to keep me at arm's length and pull me close to you just so you can fuck me."

Ingrid raised a brow. "Oh, I seduced you? And when did I ever use affection to do that?"

Dale clenched his jaw and said nothing.

"Admit it, Dale. You knew, going in, what you were getting yourself into. You knew what I was like, I fucking told you, plain as day, and you chose to dive in headfirst. Maybe you hoped I'd change for you. Maybe you thought you'd make me fall in love with you. Fine! But that's all you."

She poked her finger into his chest for emphasis.

"I cannot be held accountable for some imaginary demands you decide to impose on me. You cannot ask of me more than I can give and then blame me," this time, she poked her own chest, "when I can't deliver. If you love me, you either take me as I am or leave me be. Love does not create debts."

Oskar's words echoed in her brain. She'd promised. She had to pull the brakes before she ran the kid over.

"How would you know? Whom have you ever loved?"

Dale said it to upset her, but instead it made her laugh.

"Not even my own mother, you idiot."

Guilt instantly constricted his heart.

The momentary weakness that had blinded him gave way to memories of Ingrid's anguished interactions with her family. Affection was not something she'd learned, so of course she hadn't bestowed it upon him.

Suddenly, he felt like a fool.

"I really have to go." Ingrid picked up her handbag and her coffee and bolted.

Dale could not find it in him to apologise out loud.