Lust and Found Memory

difference

-Monique

" gusto mo tu ? " nakikiliti ako sa mga handug na halik ng lalaki sa leeg ko wala akong magawa ang umuo. Nag iinig ang katawan ko at di ko mapigilan ang mapaungol

"I love you, akin ka lang ha"sabi nito

"Oo "  sabihin mong akin ka lang say it , say you love me, utos nito

"Sayo lang ako. I love you" at naging mapusok ang paghalik nya sa akin na nakapagpagising sa diwa ko .

Lately , ang dami kong napapaginipan , wet dreams pa ngayon , nakakaloka naman , hindi ko makita ang mukha ng lalaki sa panaginip ko . I checked my phone and it's juat 10 P.M. kaya nakapadesisyon ako na magbar hopping , hindi ko pa natatry simula ng dumating ako rito. Kahit ako lang mag isa ok lang , wala akong natatandaang friends ko rito kaya sanay akong mag isa. My friends are in Australia.

I wear black tops with black skirt . Hindi ako magtatagal . Iinum lang ng ilang shots para makatulog na ako. Yung sakto lang para makapagdrive pa ako , hindi ko na gigisingin sila manong, nakakahiya pupuyatin ko sila para lang gumala . I'd rather drive myself.

Nakarating ako sa Asahi . Wow , a little difference from the usual bar in Australia. I ordered a five shots of tequila. Hindi ko namalayan na nakakarami na pala ako at medyo nahihilo na parang di ko at kaya mgdrive pauwi . Hindi ako ngsasave ng number kaya I just check my recent calls, I rang it and  it was answered.

"Hello, it's me ,  Monique,  Lukey shhh. Can you get me ? I think I can't make it to drive home. I give the address and did not hear any response".

After 20 minutes

"Sir? Kayo po bang susundo kay ma'am . Lasing na po ang girlfriend nyo masyado . "

"Yes ako nga. " inakay ko na sya at sinakay sa kotse ko . Ipapakuha ko na lang ang kotse nya sa driver nila

" I missed her a lot. Dinala ko sya sa condo ko . " para parin syang bata kung matulog. Tinitigan ko sya ng matagal. Hindi ko malaman sa sarili ko kung paano ko natiis at nasaktan ang tulad niya na walang ginawa kundi ang mahalin ako .

I changed her clothes   , hindi na ako nag alangan. I've seen all of her. SHE WAS MINE BEFORE and that would still remain . I can still remember every inch of her body . I remember how her body arched when we made love.

I was wiping her with wet towel when she suddenly said something.

"No, it's so cold. Don't wipe me. You're making me wet  " double meaning ang sinabi nya

"Hug me please , dagdag nya pa" I was about to go when she suddenly hold me and hug me tightly even though she's asleep . She might be dreaming. I let her hugged me. She smells of tequila but still smells good. I stiff when I sense her tongue on my neck . She's kissing me and sipping me there, hindi ko alam may side pala syang ganito . Hindi ko mapaliwanag ang nararamdamn ko sa tuwing naiisip na may ibang  lalaki siyang hahalikan at gaganituhin. I stopped her and tried to get up.

Peru dumilat sya at tumingin ng nakakaakit sa akin .

"Kiss me please" i can't contain myself . I kissed her and mold her breast . I lost control of myself. I missed her a lot . I kissed her deeply and aggressively until we forgot the reality.

In the morning. I was taken a back when someone hit me with a pillow. I smiled sweetly when I saw her annoyed face.

"You anong ginawa mo sa akin? You rapist , bastard , maniac!"

"What? Me? Baka nakalimutan mong you begged me   to kiss you . When I said stop , you forced me . You were drunk kaya di mo na alam ginagawa mo"

" begged? Dahh kahit sinong lalaki kung hahainan ng kasing sexy ko, hindi na nila kayang tumaggi pa." Pang iinis ko sa kanya. 

"What? Paano kung iba ang sumundo sayo o kung may nagbalak sayong iuwi ka . Mangyayare din to? "

" oo , it's natural " nahihinuha kong galit sya sa mga pinagsasabi ko

" you know you shouldn't say like that. You gave yourself to me and you're saying that even it was  not me , same thing would happen? "
Pa asik na  tanong nya

"I was drunk ok ? Don't make this a big deal".  Pagsisinungaling ko . Of course it's a big deal. He made love to me 😔 but won't give him a satisfaction.

Alam kong mali ang sinabi ko . Ano na lang ang sasabihin nya matapos nyang marining ang sinabi ko na ok lang kahit sinong lalaki kahit hindi naman. Of course importanye sa akin ang dignity ko peru bakit ako maguguilty kung anong iisipin nya , mas mabuti nga at maisip nyang hindi ako ang hinahanap nya para tumigil na ito..

-Ken

I was pissed off when I hear her saying those things to me. I can't imagine her kissing another man.  I want her all for me.  Kaya dapat matandaan na nya ako para marecall nya lahat ng pinagsamahan namin . Noon ayaw na ayaw ni dine na nalalapit sya sa ibang lalaki. Laging nagsusumbong yun kapag merong lumalapit sa kanya . Ako lang dapat , sakin lang sya dapat peru wala akong magawa. Hindi ko sya kayang pilitin sa ngayon.