Secrets

Part 2

September 1st, 1976
Dear Journal,
    Today we start our 6th year at Hogwarts and a lot has changed, James, Peter and Sirius had all become animagi. James had become obsessed with impressing Lily Evans whom he had a huge crush on since 3rd year when he sat with her in transfiguration. Sirius was too hot for any girl to resist so naturally he was known as a ladies man who had tons of girlfriends ranging from sweet ,compassionate Hufflepuffs to sneaky ,backstabbing Slytherins. And Peter had stayed well Peter, he was still shorter than me which meant he was extremely short because I only stood at 5'6 ft while both James and Sirius stood at nearly 6 feet, still chubby, and a bit mousy. As for me through the years I had discovered who I was, a few girls had asked me out in the past to whom I all politely rejected and  I had never so much as liked a girl so it would have felt strange to go out with a girl whom I had no romantic feelings for. Of course , I found certain girls attractive such as Lily ,but never had I felt a romantic attraction towards one. I had always thought I'd grow into liking girls,but I never did in fact as time passed I began to grow a liking towards boys more specifically Sirius Orion Black. Yes, I Remus John Lupin liked boys and I have a huge crush on my best friend Sirius who is so obviously straight it hurts to think about. No one knows I'm gay not even my parents and frankly I'm too scared to tell anyone because not only is being gay pretty much makes you an outcast and is looked at as you being the broken piece ,but by admitting I like boys it opens the door for people to assume or begin to theiorize I like Siruius which scares me more than anything even full moons. But even though I will probably never have the courage to tell Sirius how I feel I did write this letter describing how I feel because I couldn't bare keeping these feelings inside any longer ...
Dear Sirius "Padfoot" Orian Black,
This letter is one you'll never read ,but I have to say that I have liked you since we were 13, which means yes I'm gay ,but I'm sure your not based on the amount of girls you've dated ,but I have to tell you that since I was 13 I have kept falling deeper in love with you each and every day. Sirius Orion Black I love you for exactly who you are. You are so kind, sweet, accepting, brave, loyal, handsome and so much more. You are my everything ,when you smile at me I get butterflies inside in my stomach, and when you laugh my heart skips a beat. But I know these feelings are not mutual, they simply cannot be....  Which is why each and every night I cry myself to sleep knowing in my heart this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But then my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can't have and wanting you is something I will never have and that hurts me. Because how can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, you imagine yourself  in that person's arms deep in love. Because this love for me is forbidden.
Love,
Remus John "Moony" Lupin
That is everything I would tell Sirius if I could but I have to leave you dear journal for the train is due to stop in about 5 minutes.