lost heart

Chapter 1

Just before leaving the house, I looked in the mirror once more. Yoon Mi So, the girl who stays in the shadows of HSE (Haneul School of Excellence). I'm a person who has no care about others business in school, I just get on with my schoolwork and stay with my closest friend, Lee Eun Sol.

I say I'm the girl who stays in the shadows, well that is, because, those who dont know me well say I'm quiet. I'm not he kind of student who particularly shines in her work, I don't do anything above and beyond to stand out to teachers. I rarely get recognised by any teacher and to be absolutely honest, I'm perfectly fine with it. The moment I get recognised I get anxious. I can't deal with attention.

But I mean the students know me, and most of the girls hate me, especially those who attended Haneul Highschool and then college too. All because of Jung Jaehyun. Im the girl who once dated him, and hes a guy that usually doesnt date anyone for real. He was my first ever crush, and first and only boyfriend. I loved him, and I dont know exactly why we broke up.

*****
2 years ago

I sat idly in the park, waiting for Jaehyun. I stopped swinging and looked at my messages.

JH: Hey I wanna talk to you about something.
Me: Yeah sure what is it?
JH: Not here, in person. Meet me at the park behind school in 20 minutes.
Me: Oh okay see you there!

Hearing the park gate close, I looked up with a smile on my face. Jaehyun walked over to the other swing silently, looking troubled.

"Hey! What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked with a worried smile on my face. He avoided eye contact, and fidled with his fingers, struggling to say something, "its okay, take your time, I'm here, and I'm listening."

After about a minute, he got up.
"It hurts," he stammered, "I mean..."
I jumped up with those words and immediatly faced him.
"Hurts where? Who hurt you? You dont look hurt! Where are you hurt?"
I reached for his hand but he pushed it away. I stood there, and blinked slowly, trying to figure out why he did that, he was never like this.
"Whats wrong?" I mumbled, trying my best to not cry.
"You."
I stumbled back.

"Im sorry, what did I do wrong?"
"I cant do this anymore, you're pushing me away, I feel it."
I felt so confused, because I loved him so much and he thought I didn't? That broke me completely.

That was the last time he ever really looked into my eyes, and it felt so different to before, it felt so cold and distant.

"Im sorry," was the last two words I ever heard him say to me directly before he turned around and left my life for good.

I didn't know what to do, I just sat back down on the swing, as the shock hadnt quite hit me yet.

As I sat, the memories flooded my mind, and before I knew it, tears were flowing uncontrollably down my face.
He was gone, and he didnt look like he wanted to come back..

*****
I'm over him, I thought as I shook the thoughts off and set off for college.
I knew well and truely deep down I still feel exactly the same, you know what they say, your first love never leaves your mind. I just wish it would so I could go about my daily life in peace without suddenly getting emotional.

I got to school just in time and sat at my desk and right after, my homeroom teacher Mr. Seo walked in,
"Good morning, you all know what you should be doing so get on with it."

I got my notebook out and sat there. While I came in I notice an empty desk in front of me, Eunsol's not here, this isn't like her. She would've told me.

The day passed quietly, as I dont really hang out with anyone else, again, most girls hate me so I dont even try and speak to anyone. Whenever I enter a classroom there are always those bitches who give me death glares and at break and lunch they throw indirect comments towards me, especially when Eunsol isnt here.

I never get why theyre so, low. I can speak up to them if they were even worth speaking to, but they're so pathetic, I would rather not. I just mind my own business and block the noise out.

Today of all days my phone my phone had no charge, I was worried about that girl. But of course, forgetful me would obviously forget to charge it at night.

After school ended I went straight to Eunsol's house and her mum answered the door.

"Oh hello dear! You havent come round in a while come in its cold outside!" Mrs. Lee gushed as she tugged me into the house and shut the door.

"Aunt, where's sol?" I asked, concerned.

"Didn't she tell you she had an important  interview today?"

Oh right. I forgot. She had an interview for getting a job a tutoring academy.

"Ah yes she did," I acted as if I knew, "is she back now?"

"Has she not messaged you?"

"Ah, my phone has no charge so I can't switch it on" I gave her a sheepish smile.

"Oh okay, she'll be back in about half an hour she said so go up to her room and charge your phone while waiting for her! Ill get you something to eat."

"No auntie you really don-"

"Ok up you go!" She pushed me lightly towards the stairs with a bright smile on her face. Eunsol's mum was always so lovely and welcoming, this house always felt like a second home to me.

A while later Eunsol came in and flopped onto her bed.

"How was it?" I asked her with unceetainty because it felt like she was going to snap.

"I probably didnt even get in, i messed up so badly, in the end i desperately said 'I'll work hard with every student and put in my all', wow, what was wrong with me, all that practice just to completely fuck up the real thing."

"Oh no, I'm 100% sure it wasn't HORRIBLE, I know you, you have this thing about you, even when your nervous you, seem so natural. Damn I wish i was like you."

"No Miso, you dont know today was different, the people interviewing were so daunting, I was trying hard not to tremble."

"Well, dont worry too much, you have my prayers and your families prayers too, we're rooting for you!" I gave her a big heart sign and she slapped my shoulder,

"When i think about it, what would I do without you?"

"I know right, I am vital for your existence."

"No im vital for your existence now shut up my mum called us to eat."

And with that, the day ended quckly, and yet another day of going to school awaited.

—

Hi guys, whover is actually here and is reading my work. Did you enjoy it??
(I doubt anyone's even here lmao)

Yes, the first of the 3 we hear about is in fact Jaehyun since he is the ex bf.

This seems pretty short but like, this is the kinda length I write. Also like its mostly about the bestfriend today but our main bois will appear more so stay tuned for the next chapter!!

Kay ♡