We stayed in the room for around 30 minutes after he let go, then the nurse told us it was time for us to go. I slowly let go of his hand, and got up. His mom put her arm around my shoulder as we walked out. I turned around a whispered "i love you".
When we got to the lobby I gave her a hug and she just held on. I can't imagine how much pain she's in, he was the love of my life, but he was also her only child. That pain can never go away. She let go and said "Feel free to come over whenever, whatever you want or his is yours." That made every thing feel so real.
I got in my car and I could feel the tears running off of my face. He promised me his forever, without even knowing his forever was gonna end so soon. The car was quit as I drove back...I'm just trying to piece together that fact that he's actually gone. Then I here my phone ring. My mom was calling, I answered it...and all that could come out of my mouth was, he's gone.
She kept talking as I drove home but I can't here a word that she saying. I get to my house and pull in the driveway. And right as I get out she runs up to me and gives me a hug. I couldn't hug back I was just frozen. She walked me inside and I went straight to my room and locked the door.
I just laid there and stared at the ceiling. Right as I started to drift off I heard his voice...i jumped up and looked around and realized that he wasn't there. Then I heard a knock at my door...I wished it was him but I knew it wasn't. It was my mom "hey i just want you to know, that if you wanna talk about it I'm here whenever."
I couldn't respond I just laid there and started remembering all of the amazing moments. I can't ever make new one with him...all that's left is the memories...but the memory of him got me to go to sleep some how. But what happens if the memories start to fade...then he's gone. He's really really gone.
