Kid?

Chapter 10: The Chat

Before Peter went to follow the two avengers he checked his phone. There were messages from Ned and MJ. Some casual, sending memes and whatnot. Other wondering if he was okay, because he hadn't replied in a while. One from MJ that stated Peter better come clean to her about what was going on, because she knew it was something. That last on sent a cold shiver through his body. His entire team had just found out what a wreck he was, he didn't need anyone else finding out. The more people that found out he felt, the less of a chance he could try bring about his early demise again. He could not deal with this. Not today thank you very much. And he could Not deal with a talk right now.

Peter knew there wasn't much point in putting up a fight, the logical part of him knew he couldn't escape this. Even so, after locking eyes with both Tony and Steve, he turned on his heel and quickly tried to walk out of the room. He really didn't want to do this now, or ever.
"Kid, come on." Peter heard Tony groan.
He considered going back but it was too late since Cap had already reached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"We've got to do this Petey. We just want to help."
So Peter was steered towards the empty living room, with Tony following closely behind.

"Okay, so," Tony was running his hands over his face and through his hair. Both Tony and Steve had sat on one of the larger couches which was opposite to the TV, while Peter had placed himself on an armchair to the side. He was curled up into himself, looking like a small child.
"I know you don't want to be here, kid. And I get that, I really do. But you've got to understand that this isn't something I can ignore. None of the team want to ignore this, we want to help you get better."
"There's nothing wrong with me, Tony," Peter mumbled," Personally, I think it's best we never talk about this again."
Peter's face was a blank slate, not allowing either of the two men watching him gage how he was really feeling.
"You know we can't do that."
"Yes you-"
"For Fucks sake Peter."
"Tony calm down."
"How can I? Are we just going to pretend that Peter didn't try and kill himself, is that what I'm supposed to do here?!"
Huddled into himself Peter's eyes had started to water. The steady flow of negative thoughts that went through his head was never ending.

'You've caused all this stress. It's Your fault. You couldn't even do one simple thing right. You couldn't fucking kill yourself properly what kind of "genius" are you. How do you think they're going to feel of they find about you're other hobbies. Do you really think they'll let you stay if they find out you're a cutter as well?'

"I'm so sorry," Peter whispered, "I'm so, so sorry. I should just leave."
"Pete."
"Kid."
"Okay, here's what's going to happen," Steve decided it was best he took charge of the conversation before it got out of hand again, "No one is leaving. We're going to talk this through. You're either going to have to talk to some of us on the team or, I guess, we could get you a therapist."
"No thank you." 

'Look at that Peter, they think you're crazy now and they don't even know the half of it.'

"Fine then. You've got to talk to us. Come to us when it gets bad. We can't just let this slide. Do you realise the gravity of what you did. Do you realise what dying would really mean. In case you don't we're going to keep a closer eye on you as well, there isn't a discussion on that one. And don't think I haven't noticed that you don't eat as much as you should. You look like you could pass out at any moment. Petey, you're sick, you've got to see that. We just want to help you get better, feel better. You might actually be surprised by how much we understand. So unless there is anything else you would like to say, you can get on with your day for now, although later on Bruce will be doing another check up. Oh, and I know we just had breakfast but I think you should take a snack with you."

Peter practically ached with longing for a razor blade and his thoughts continued on 'You're wasting their time you fucking attention seeker-'

As Peter uncurled himself from the armchair and went to go back to his room Tony spoke again, for the first time after his little outburst.
"And Kid? You know I love you right? We all love you, you're a part of this dysfunctional family of ours."
Peter gave them an unconvincing smile before trying to get himself out of that uncomfortable situation as fast as possible. For that moment, it seemed the flurry of events the last few days had brought had taken the blood stained joggers right out of Tony's mind.

'They love you? Likely story, more like the pity you. They're disgusted by you, but they're heroes. So they'd never say it, it's their job to help the weak and it seems they've decided that that means they've got to help you.'

Peter walked into his room and didn't even hesitate before grabbing a razor out of his bedside drawer. He may have thought of himself as an idiot, but even he wasn't dumb enough to think that there wouldn't be extra precautions to alert the team of his actions if he cut in his room. Like Cap said, they were going to keep a closer eye on him. He figured however, that the protocol for what would alert the others to him may be lesser in other rooms of the tower. And Peter was desperate enough at that moment that he would take that risk. That's how Peter found himself in a bathroom on another floor of the tower.

He locked the door and pulled down his trousers. He practically hacked at his legs, beads of blood immediately forming then turning into streams of blood. He hadn't cut like this in a while and in some sick way, he had missed it. He felt the tension in him leave his body with the blood. He felt like he was finally getting what he deserved. He cut till both his thighs were covered in new jagged slits. He didn't really care, they were a mess anyway.

Lmao I swear my writings getting worse. Also I am fully aware you're not supposed to use connectives at the start of a sentence but...oh well I like it. Sorry it took me so long to update y'all, I'll try not leave it too long next time. Also I'm going to try write a more interesting chapter.
Published: 18.07.2019