Book 2: Back to You and I

Chapter 9: Phone Calls and OH MY GOSH

When you love someone you don't give up who you are entirely. Loving someone doesn't mean losing who you are as an individual to the relationship. When someone is truly perfect for you, both of you remain as individuals who choose to be with each other. Who choose to spend time with each other. Who choose to love each other.

When in a relationship it is so easy to lose who you are or to become dependent on another person. But with Nathan it's nowhere near that.

"You're daydreaming again" Nathan says as he waves his hand in front of my face.

I move his hand away as I try to look at the tv. "No I'm not"

"Are too, but I hope you were dreaming of me"

I playfully roll my eyes. "As if. I was dreaming about finally being able to relax after you leave"

Nathan pretends to be offended by statement. He gasps way too dramatically and thats when I know he's trying too hard. "How could you?! And here I thought our relationship was going so well"

"Well-" I begin to say but I'm interrupted by an incoming call from Nathan's phone. He immediately pulls it out of his pocket and looks at the name. His smile disappears and is replaced by one of annoyance. "Who is it?"

Nathan shakes his head. "No one."

"Nathan"

"It doesn't matter. I'll just ignore the call"

Instead of listening, I reach over to him and grab the phone from his hand. The screen lights up again and Samantha's name covers the screen.

"Samantha?"

Nathan takes the phone back. "That's why I didn't want to tell you"

"You still talk to her?" I ask almost fearing the answer. I know I shouldn't worry, but after what happened with William I have a paranoia that it's going to happen again.

Nathan turns my face to look at him. "Of course not. She just hasn't stopped calling or texting me since those pictures were released"

"Oh that makes sense"

The silence that follows is almost deadly. It's awkward and I find myself not knowing what to do with myself.

"I'm gonna go get something from the kitchen" is all I say before I basically run out of the room.

Walking into the kitchen I see Dean feeding Rose. He watches me as I go into a cabinet and take out a huge bag of chips.

"Woah what do you think you're doing eating MY chips?" Dean asks as he walks over to me. I reach into the bag to grab more but he snatches them away before I get the chance. "They're mine. It's not my fault you finished yours the day we bought them"

"You're right..."

"What?" He asks confused at my quick agreement. Normally when it comes to chips we argue and depending on whether or not I'm the one eating them I argue about how we should be sharing. But I couldn't argue with something else on my mind.

"What if I am the problem?" I go on. "What if I was the problem all along?"

Dean looks at me as if I've completely lost it. "Lark, what are you talking about?"

"It's nothing."

"No. Clearly there is something you're not talking about. What do you mean you're the problem?"

"I'm scared okay" I say finally giving in. Being with Nathan feels natural, it feels so right. But I can't help but fear not being good enough. What if Nathan regrets his decision? Will he tell me or would he cheat?