Just one Touch

Chapter Six

The next morning, both of the supernatural beings pretended like what had happened the last day, and the night prior hadn't happened. It hurt Crowley but he would rather them talk a limited amount with awkwardness than never talk to Aziraphale again. Aziraphale felt that he had messed up, he just didn't want Crowley to feel like he had to be physical with him, but the touch, it was like a disability and he couldn't find any way to stop it.

The day was spent inside, with Crowley doing a lot of thinking and Aziraphale finishing two more books. Crowley wished that he could bring up everything that happened, but he didn't know how to do that without risking their friendship. And he would not do that. Aziraphale just wanted to be normal, he didn't get why wasn't.

At lunch time the two sat together, silently, that is until Crowley broke the silence.

"Did I," He paused "Do something wrong?"

"No not at all Crowley." Aziraphale knew it was coming, he was either going to have to explain why he pulled away from every touch or lie to Crowley.

"Then why, why do you always flinch away when I try to touch you Angle."

He closed his eyes, not wanting to say it, but not wanting to lie either. He waited and absentmindedly started tapping on the table. Trying to think.

"Please, tell me the truth." Crowley sounded so less like himself that Aziraphale looked up at him, he saw heartbreak in his eyes.

"I don't know how to explain it," He waited for Crowley to speak, but he didn't he waited for Aziraphale to explain. "Since we have been hanging out more, you have had more opportunities to touch me, and I'm not used to it, it is a strange feeling, due to the fact that when we normally where together, you didn't touch me and heaven isn't touchy feely."

He paused and met Crowley's eyes which looked more sad.

"I'm sorry dear I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset, I'm sad, and a little angry. Not angry at you more that you didn't feel you could come to me about it sooner. I'm sad you feel this way, I care about you so much and." He stopped and when he started it was obvious he was in tears. "And I feel bad that you had to go through that awful pain."

"Go through what pain?" The angle asked, only half knowing the answer.

"Being touch starved my dear. It is where you don't get enough physical contact and so touches become so special that you try to recreate them, and getting touched feels like a mini miracle." When Corwley saw Aziraphale's eyes, with tears in them, he reached out. He didn't take his hand, he just made his presence known. "Now I don't want to rush you, but I do want to try to reverse some of the effects of you being touch starved."

Aziraphale nodded "How would we do that,"

"We start off small, which I have been doing unknowingly on a smaller scale and then work our way up to you being able to handle physical touch."

Aziraphale pulled down Crowley's hand. "You don't have to touch me if you hate me."

"Hate you angle how could I, I not only see you as my best friend, I have loved you as more than that for a long time."

"Really?" Aziraphale asked, like he could never be loved.

"Really." He said taking Aziraphale hands "Your tickety boo,"

Aziraphale let out a quick laugh that was generally happy. He saw Crowley smile at him.

"I want to take things slow, but also, I want you to know that Zira, I love you more than anyone has ever loved anything." Crowley spoke softly.

"No that's wrong." He looked Crowley in the eyes "I love food more than anyone has ever loved anything."

"You fucking bitch." He paused "Just, never be afraid to tell me to slow down."

Aziraphale nodded, still not pulling away from Crowley's hand.

"Do you want to have some hot coco, Crowley."

"Yes angel."