Healer

Healing

Jimin jumped when Hoseok opened the door. Hoseok jumped as well, smiling sheepishly. "You okay?"

Jimin nodded, shifting awkwardly.

"It really is Minseok," Hoseok said softly, moving to crouch by the bed. "We asked him about it, and he said Soohyung was his cousin. I'm really sorry about that."

"But-- but he said--"

"He was the one who told us where you were," Hoseok hummed, reaching out and hesitantly tracing a finger along the part in Jimin's hair. "He went to visit Soohyung and found you, almost by accident." Hoseok sighed, rubbing one eye. "I'd like to think it was divine providence."

"Then why?" Jimin said. "Why did he say--"

"On the phone? He was teasing you." Hoseok rolled his eyes, tapping Jimin's forehead. "He's not trained like we are, 'min. He says stupid things sometimes."

"Oh," Jimin said softly.

"At least we know another trigger," Hoseok huffed. "Next time you're scared, come to me, alright? I can help you."

Jimin bit his lip, curling into a ball. Hoseok didn't try to say anything else.

***

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Jimin huddled on the stairs, watching the other men interact on the lower floor. Minseok seemed harmless, if a bit too similar to the man who'd tortured him. Watching him laugh and talk with the other men only made Jimin feel like more of a fool. How could he be so stupid-- throwing up over a look-alike? Breaking down like that? Why couldn't he just trust them properly?

He wished he could work up the courage to go downstairs and stand with them, if only to watch. As he shifted, he saw Yoongi look up, but the healer's face was blank, revealing nothing, and he made no attempt to make Jimin move.

Jimin swallowed hard. Why did he have to be so weak? He stood and moved to the doorway of his bedroom, only to leave and walk to Namjoon's instead. Curling up on Namjoon's bed, he pulled the blankets around him and took a deep breath, staring up at the trees outside the window.

He wanted to be stronger. But it seemed like every step forward dragged him two steps back. How could he heal when he kept breaking down at every little thing?

He waited, counting the seconds between the beats of his heart, then sat up, sighing. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be feeling all this pain. They told him it would be a short time, but he'd already been living with them for three months with no progress.

How could he become stronger?

"So you were here," Namjoon said.

Jimin looked up, biting his lip.

"You don't have to be afraid," Namjoon said, walking in and sitting on the bed with him. "No one's angry at you. We didn't even warn you he was coming."

"I should have been able to calm down," Jimin mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I-- I should have listened to Taehyung, or something--"

"You thought he was your rapist," Namjoon said, reaching out and running a hand through Jimin's hair. "Given that, your actions make sense. You went through a lot because of that man."

"I should have seen it wasn't him," Jimin insisted.

"How?" Namjoon asked, meeting his eyes.

Jimin didn't have an answer to that.

Namjoon sighed, letting his hands fall into his lap for a moment before he reached out and gave Jimin's hand a squeeze. "We've all made some mistakes today," he said. "But it's time to let it go. You've been doing really well lately, and considering the shock you've just had you're reacting even better. Okay?"

"Okay," Jimin said softly, leaning into Namjoon's shoulder.

"You're doing so well," Namjoon said, rubbing Jimin's back. "Don't ever forget that." 

Almost there...