CLEXA - Revelations

Chapter 9: The Letter

I sat there at the restaurant with everyone for our traditional Saturday outing at the Harbor Walk Cafe, trying to pay attention to the colorful conversation. It had been storming all afternoon and the lights were starting to flicker inside the restaurant. Since me, Raven, Bellamy, Octavia and Lincoln, and Jasper all started school at New Haven U, Saturday lunches at Harbor Walk had become tradition. It was kind of dingy old seafood place by the bay, but it was a staple hangout for a lot of NHU students. 

Today, we'd gathered there for a very different reason. 

It was time to tell everyone about the letter.

Not just about the letter. About everything Finn had been doing to me since I'd arrived at college. After we'd ordered, Raven got everyone's attention and let me take over. I started with the clocktower incident, then the texts in the darkroom and the library, which I read out to everyone. When I read the text he'd sent me in the darkroom, the text about Lexa ending up just like Niylah, Octavia's jaw literally dropped and Bellamy got so angry he had to readjust himself in his chair. 

Then, I reached into my pocket and revealed the letter.

Even with the drama unfolding from the bomb I was about to drop on everyone, I could only think of one thing: Lexa. I'd been freezing her out for a week, avoiding the Brew and ignoring her texts until she'd just stopped texting altogether. 

After reading that letter Finn had left for me, I was terrified. Terrified for Lexa, for Raven, and for everyone else who got close to me. I thought the best way to protect Lexa was to shut her out of my life temporarily, but I missed her terribly. Every time I thought of her, a surge of regret shot through my chest. Even now, as I opened the letter, a lump formed in my throat, and with every word I read, Lexa was the only thing on my mind.

Dear Clarke,

Let me begin by saying I love you. Everything I do, everything, is for you. It may seem crazy the way I fight for you but that's what love is. It's messy and it's ugly but I don't care as long as it means I can have you in my arms, babe. When I close my eyes I see your beautiful angelic face. My heart skips a beat because I know deep in my very soul that when you push me away it's only because you want me just as much as I want you. Why else would I be chasing you all the time if I didn't know you felt the same as me? I am your protector in the night. I am your guardian. I am your soldier of darkness. The fight for your love will never be over until everyone who hates us and wants to break us up is out of our lives forever. Niylah got in the way and I destroyed her. Lexa won a battle but the fucking war will end with her headless and in a body bag. Raven too. She thinks she can take me on like in the library when she talked all that big talk. What would she have done if she actually found me? She'd have her throat slit, that's what. Seems like these little girls don't know their place so I guess we have to show them don't we baby? Remember that this gay thing is just a phase and I'll know we'll come out of it together. I love you to the moon and back.

You man forever,

Finn

"Have her throat slit? You've got to be kidding," Jasper scoffed, looking Raven over protectively. His feelings for her were still strong as ever, I realized.

"Did he seriously say he's going to chop off Lexa's head?" Octavia exclaimed, livid. "What the fuck is wrong with that asshole? Hold my earrings, babe," she said to Lincoln, slamming her hands on the table and standing in one quick motion. "I'm going to beat the shit out of him."  

Lincoln rolled his eyes and reminded Octavia that she was 100 lbs. soaking wet.

"No, O's right. I'm done with this guy," Bellamy tossed a piece of bread back into the basket on the table and dusted his hands. "I say it's ass-kicking time. All for kicking Finn's ass?" Bellamy raised a hand first and everyone else at the table followed suit.