Frozen Chemicals

Gone for awhile

Thank god for the weekend. I’m just done with the bullshit that the doctor has caused me. The school psychologist is convinced I have an anger issue, when really I’m just so frustrated because nobody’s bothered to ask me how I feel. All but the guys. Speaking of which, Edward said on the drive to school that I have to be home right after school today. I'm personally scared as hell, have they decided I'm too much to keep around? Not that I think that of the guys, people who would just abandon a teenage girl, but Its not like I'm either of their kid.... I drag my feet up the walk and sigh, its time to face the music and I guess I'm ready.... Well as I ever will be.... I open the door and seal my fate.

Al and I go into the living room where Ed is waiting for us to get back. “So what’s going on guys?” I’m really scared they’re about to tell me that they’ve had enough because of these past few weeks. “The thing is, we’re expanding the company and there’s a new branch opening up in L.A.” “Okay?” “So, I’m going to have to move to L.A." "Oh!" Does this mean Edward is moving out? As much as I love Alphonse, it just wouldn’t be right without him. Or are they moving and finding somewhere to leave me? "So we’re all going.." "Oh!" "We've worked out everything for you even school transfer, and we know that the Doctor has caused you quite a few problems in school and your blood test came back positive for mono, so you were right. When we move, you can leave all of this behind you. Drowning, and being “diagnosed” with disorders you don’t even have." "Okay, when do we leave?" "Two days, sorry for the short notice, but it’s the best I could do to get that kind of extension. Today was your last school day here." I smile, thank God. I’m so done with that school I barely wanted to finish out my junior year, let alone go through my senior year there. L.A though, it’s going to be so different from what I’m used to, more west than I’ve ever lived before. “Are there boxes for me to pack with?” Alphonse speaks now. “Yep, I went and got them today, there should be enough in your room, if not, we can go get more.” “Okie Dokie.”

When I get in my room since the  boxes are already waiting, I start emptying my dresser. "Babe?" I look up to see that Jack has come into my window. "Oh! Jack! You almost gave me a heart attack!!" He laughs his infectious laugh. “So why are you packing your clothes?” “Oh. Yeah, the guys just told me that we’re moving in two days because Ed got a job transfer to the other coast.”  "Siggy...." Jack sounds sad as hell. "What?" "I can't follow you that far... Because of the heat, and I'm barely making quota now... I'll have to wait to see you this summer...." "Oh." "I know..." Jack kisses my forehead then leaves. "Good bye Jack. I love you." And a snowflake hits my nose. With that he’s gone. Did he really just run away like that? It breaks my heart that I’ve hurt him, it’s not like I can control where I live. At least not at this point in my life. I hope he’ll be back later because if I only have two days left with him, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Will he even be able to make it to California in the summer? Merely because of the heat. I get the majority of my room packed before dinner, and it’s kind of sad but at the same time, it feels nice to know that I’m about to get a fresh start. I feel bad that I won’t ever see teachers like Ms. Jones again, but I can email her to say my goodbyes. Not ideal, but what I have to work with, I also won’t have to deal with any bullshit that the first doctor has started here. A fresh start.

Since we’re moving, we’ve decided to get Chinese take out while we can before we move. I savour the flavour of the Chicken and Rice because nobody makes it as good as they do. I’m gonna miss it here, but at the same time I’m not really leaving much behind. When I go to bed, Jack hasn’t come back. He isn’t there in the morning either, once I finish my room completely, and help with other rooms in the house, we finish packing and have about an hour before our dinner is ready for pick up. I go out to my pond. They know where I’m going, but I’ve promised not to skate, just say goodbye.

When I get there though, I’ve lied. I just set my hand on the ice and instantly the level rises because of how thick it is now. Just one single touch, and I don’t understand my powers, but I enjoy them. So I put on my skates and enjoy my last time skating for quite some time. I feel watched, and I’m almost positive it’s Jack but he won’t show himself so I’m not going to force him, and my heart breaks a little. Why is he treating me this way? It’s not like I did anything wrong. I didn’t decided this, but I’m working with the cards I’ve been dealt. So once I feel as though I’ve sufficiently skated, I look around one last time as my goodbye and leave my secret place. I hope someone else finds it and makes it their own, because it’s really too special to vanish off the map when I do. Dinner is great and I enjoy it for one last time before I go to bed. My sheets are the only thing left and I have a box ready to put them in when morning arrives and the U-haul does.

Jack doesn’t show, and I get the message loud and clear. He’s leaving me for good, and it breaks me inside. But maybe it’s for the best. For now, I’m living like a mortal, I need to move on and live a mortal life. Maybe once I’m a winter sprite we’ll have our chance, but right now he’s made it apparent that he doesn’t want that. And for the first time in a long time, I cry for something that I’ve lost.