HELPLESSLY // MITCHEL CAVE

|38|

A whole week. It's been a whole week since we broke up. It had been five days when I saw him at the hospital.

So here I am. In my bed. Watching TV. Doing exactly what I've been doing: being completely unsure of what to do or how to handle this. I don't wanna get over Mitchel. I don't wanna go see him either. I'm stuck. The only reason I don't wanna see him is because I won't know what to say and that means we'd be getting back together and if we get back together I'm gonna torture him all over again.

*knock knock*

"Come in."I answered. The door opened letting light into my room, I flinched.

"Jesus Alexa."I grumbled closing my eyes. She shuffled through my room and pushed my curtains open.

"Hey!"I grabbed my glasses throwing them on my face angrily. Except the only thing was when I finally looked over at Alexa, Alexa wasn't Alexa.

Alexa was Clinton. "What are you doing here?"I jumped up being completely startled by his presence. He sighed and motioned for me to get up.

"Come on. Get out of bed. We're going to the roof of this apartment building. No questions asked."He clapped his hands for me to get up. I huffed.

"Clinton I'm tired and I look like-"

"A.J. Up. You're getting out of this place for a little while. I'm worried about you. I'm not even asking you to go any further than this apartment structure."Clinton insisted. I rolled my eyes and got out of bed. I took my phone and walked out with him behind me.

"So why did you decide to come?"I asked when we were in the elevator.

"Because whether you wanna admit to it or not you're worried about Mitchel and I'm here to talk about things with you. I know you have questions and I do too. If you're really just gonna break up with my brother I need to know why other than some tearful explanation from him."He explained himself. I nodded seeing his right to be here and got out of the elevator. We walked out onto the roof where I saw two coffee's sitting on the edge of the wall.

"I got coffee to wake you up. Get you out of this haze."He handed mine to me. I took a sip making my eyes go wide. It was ice cold and very strong.

"Jesus Clint. What's in this?"I choked.

"It's Irish coffee. Iced caffeinated coffee with whiskey. You're welcome."He sipped his completely unphased. For the first time in a week I actually laughed.

"So, tell me. What's going on with him?"I asked being terrified of the answer. He let out a slow sigh.

"He's..physically okay. He didn't overdose on purpose. He stopped doing drugs a lot because you were around and he didn't need them to be happy. So when he went to do them again his tolerance was down and it slammed his system. He wasn't thinking. It happened after the last show of the tour. He took them when we weren't around and went right to bed. We got back here in L.A at about two in the morning and needed to get off the bus. But of course he wasn't waking up. His body was cold. Within a few minutes he had foam in his mouth, so of course we called the paramedics. They did whatever they do to take care of that and within an hour or so he was stabilized. It wasn't that severe thankfully. He was only asleep for two hours after he was stabilized, and he woke up right as you left. He said he heard you. He knew you were there."Clinton filled me in on everything. By the end I was sobbing again. He put his hand on my back comfortingly.

"What about before all that? What about the morning I left?"I asked.

"He was a mess. By far the worst I've ever seen him honestly. He barely moved. Didn't talk. Didn't eat. Just sat and stared into space or cried in his bunk. He was drinking too. Really just miserable. All he said was he's never going to love anyone else and he's only ever going to love you. And that's he's just lost and confused. He's in a dark place. I know he didn't wanna die though. He told me he doesn't wanna die because of you. He's still holding on for you. Yeah we've got the fans and he loves them too, but A.J. He loves you. Why does that bother you?"He seemed almost in tears himself. I looked down at the ground below us unsure of how to respond.