Protect The Batboys

give me therapy

When Jason woke up, it was interesting to say the least.

To set the scene, the group had moved Jason from the floor to the couch and tossed a blanket on him, proceeding to then gather at the far side of the room to play a game of Uno. Bruce was well on his way to drunk by now, beyond happy that his family was safe and to have Jason back, alive and mostly well. But since he was on his eighth full glass of scotch, he was becoming quite competitive.

"Ha! Draw four, bitch!" Bruce yelled, downing the rest of his drink as he slammed his draw four card on the table.

Did Batman just call Kaldur a bitch?

I think so, babe, I think so.

No one noticed the lump on the couch stir as Kaldur drew his four cards in slight awe of Bruce, that is, until Jason spoke up. Then Wally squealed like a little kid in shock. "I have so many questions but most importantly, who got Bruce drunk?"

All heads were turned to face the couch where Jason was slowly sitting up, rubbing his temples. Dick got up from the table and Tim snatched his wrist, shooting his older brother a look. Dick rolled his eyes, gently pulling his wrist out of Tim's grip. He walked up to Jason and sat next to him the couch, hesitantly putting a hand on his shoulder. "Jay, do you remember anything?"

Jason snorted, breaking into a low chuckle. "If you are asking if I remember being beaten by the Joker, raised by Talia, running away on a hellbent mission to kill my family, and holding you at sword point, then the answer is obviously no. I have no recollection whatsoever."

I guess sass runs in the family.

They did grow up together, of course mannerisms are going to rub off on each other, doofus.

Shh, I'm trying to listen.

Dick grinned slightly. "Do you still want to kill me?"

Jason shrugged. "I mean, the anger is still there, but its not directed at you. Its directed at him." Jason pointed at Bruce, his face contorting in pain. "Was my body double even fully in the ground before you found Tim and replaced me? Huh? Was I that much of a failure that you couldn't wait to find a better, more disciplined Robin?"

"Jason, its not like that. Let me exp-"

"Another thing, dad, why does my old bedroom look exactly the same as the day I left? That is so weird!" Jason cried out, flinging his arms in the air.

"Yeesh, sounds like this whole family needs therapy." All eyes turned to Wally and he paled. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yup."

"Yikes." Wally winced. "Please don't kill or maim me."

"No no, that is actually a pretty decent idea." Everyone was shocked when those words came out of Damian's mouth. He raised an eyebrow in response, continuing with his statement. "Think about it, Grayson, Drake, and Father all saw their parents die, Todd was beaten to near death by a maniac with a crowbar, and then we were both raised by my mother. That fact alone is enough to warrant therapy. Plus, if we have any hope of maintaining our public image as we fight crime we must be in peak health, physically and mentally."

"Woah, all this coming from a ten year old." Artemis stage whispered to M'gann.

Bruce slowly nodded. "That's not such a bad idea. Of course, we all have to agree to it or it will never work. I'm on board and I assume Damian is, right?" Damian nodded and Bruce turned to his older sons. "How about you three? Are you in?"

"Sure."

"As long as my coffee stays."

All eyes turned to Jason, who sighed and shrugged in response. "Whatever, as long as I get to redecorate my room."

"Then it is settled. And I know the perfect candidate for the job."

He is so going to ask Black Canary to do the job.

Of course he is, should we ruin his drama?

Do you want to see Batman annoyed?

Kinda, yeah.

"Who, sir?" Conner bit back a grin as he asked his question, eyeing his friends. Steph subtly gave him the thumbs up from behind Bruce's back while Cassandra stifled a laugh.

Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Dinah Lance, obviously."

"Ah, gotcha, just had to clarify."

You're such an ass.

That was such a rush! Do you think he knew what I was doing?

If he did, you better watch your back.

Oh shit, you right.

Bruce stood up from his chair around the Uno table and eyed the team carefully. "Since I am home now, you are all free to go home. Thank you again for keeping my children safe and remember, not a word."

"Yes, sir."

The team bid the Waynes, Steph, and Barbara good night as they exited the mansion, heading straight for the bioship that was still parked on the lawn. Once inside, they all exchanged looks before breaking into laughter.

"Can you believe Robin and Nightwing are Timothy Drake and Dick Grayson, sons of Bruce Wayne?" Wally wheezed, wiping his eyes.

"I still can't believe we survived this month with them." M'gann sighed happily. "Or that it was Artemis that figured out their identities."

"Hey!"

"Are we forgetting the fact that the first team mate we lost came back from the dead?"

"Or the fact he wasn't dead at all?"

The ship fell silent for a few moments as M'gann flew them back towards Happy Harbor. "So, where do we go from here?"

"Home?"

"I know that, dipshit, I meant as a team? Now that we know Nightwing and Robin's identities?"

No one had an answer as they flew off into the night, towards an uncertain future.