𝐢 𝐬 𝐰 𝐞 𝐚 𝐫 | 𝘢 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒆𝒏

after five seconds, freddie pulled away.

"john, darling, you don't know what you're doing," he stated, in a breathless and husky voice which got john feeling all sorts of ways.

"what do you mean i 'don't know what i'm doing?" he replied, utterly confused. why did freddie pull away so soon? didn't he enjoy it?

"it's just we're rushing into everything. you don't even like men, sweetie."

at this, john was just pissed.
"and who are you to say what i like and what i don't like?" - john backed away from the elder boy, out of touching distance. he looked into freddie's eyes, and he swore he saw an ounce of lust, but considering the words freddie was speaking at the moment, he highly doubted freddie even fancied him at all.

"no, john, i didn't mean it like that, darling-"
freddie reached out to touch john's forearm, but the younger boy just declined his touch, no matter how much it hurt him to do so.

"oh stop it with the 'darlings' and the 'dears'... little pet names aren't going to make anything easier," john blurted out, regretting it as soon as the words came out. he wished he could take them back, apologise profusely and shower freddie with kisses, but he didn't want to seem weak; like anybody could overpower him and make him curl over like a little child. he wasn't a child. he was close to being a full grown man.

freddie just looked down at his feet, nodding slowly whilst biting and sucking at the inside of his cheek. he looked over to the two boys cuddled up on the sofa asleep, the blonde's head softly leaning on brian's shoulder. freddie smiled at the sight, wishing it could be him and john. but freddie had pulled away too quickly, giving john the complete wrong impression.

"first you tell me you like me, then you kiss me, you pull away after five bloody seconds and then claim that i don't know what i'm doing? you kissed me, freddie." the brunette continued, placing his palm on his forehead briefly due to shock.

freddie knew he had fucked up. he kept reminding himself that he should't have pulled away, that he was an idiot. he wanted to tell john that he very much did like him and how he has done for months now, only recently coming to terms with his feelings. he wanted to say how much he wanted to kiss him again and again and again. but he couldn't find the words. every time he went to open his mouth, nothing came out except short breaths. inside he knew that if he didn't say something now, john would walk away. yet it seemed like he was physically frozen. he couldn't do anything but stare at john's face, his features becoming more melancholy with each passing second.

freddie's silence gave john the sign that he needed. the younger boy nodded in defeat and walked out of freddie's eyeline, heading towards the couch to grab his things, and then stalking to the front door. freddie stood up straight and gazed upon john stood at the door. john kept their eye contact for a few seconds, and after no words were spoken, he undid the latch and stepped out into the cold air, power walking home, trying ever so hard not to look back at freddie's house.

••••

the next day

chat- the band

roggie baby: gooooood morrow
how are we all?
read 6:35am
don't ignore me, cunts
read 6:35am
somebody in here is reading my messages and leaving me on bloody read
who is it?
daft prick.
read 6:37am
please im lonely
please

stalker alert: fucking hell, rog, its half six in the morning. why are you awake? you normally sleep in?

roggie baby: well
i must've fell asleep quite early last night
because i naturally woke up this morning
and i think brian is still asleep