Spade

Moonlight In The Dark

"What?" Mara turned to me. "Who's flawless?"

Did I say that out loud?

"Nothing... I, I think I dozed off for a second there." I smiled at her making her go back to the topic she was passionately discussing with Jamie.

I turned my eyes back at him. His skin was really pale which made an irresistible contrast with his dark features. He looked extremely tall even though he was sitting and his slender fingers kept going around in circles on his glass. Something about him made me want to approach him. He looked perfect like he just escaped from the dreams of a young girl.

As I got up, he turned at me. His eyes were green as soon as he looked at me. Did he just change eye colors? I began to walk slowly. His...His face... No...

Just as someone walked past me for a brief second I saw it again. The same pitch black face and bright white pupils. This can't be. This isn't happening. Not here. Not now. Was it my imagination or was this creature really this guy in disguise? 'He's not real.' I thought. 'He for sure is not real. This was all a trap.'

I paced up to the restroom and washed my face.

"You're not going crazy. These are all just a dream. None of this is real." I spoke to myself looking at the mirror.

For a brief second, I thought my reflection would be answering me, but that never happened. So I wasn't crazy. I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. I felt a sharp pain on my stomach, it felt like someone jamming a knife inside me and making it dance around my organs. I felt someone twisting the knife and pulling my intestines out. That was that amount of pain I was in. I crouched down, writhing. I felt like I was about to pass out from the pain, I wish I did. This was unbearable. I screamed.

This is it. I'm dying. That's how everything ends.

——————
"Don't make me hurt you again."

"Am I dead? Is this a dream again?"

"It's not a dream. I call this the void. Your deep consciousness. The dusty place in your soul that nobody put their finger into."

"How can you reach it then?"

"I know you for a long long time, Evelyn. Longer than you have ever known yourself. So I'm asking one more time. Come with me."
——————

"Ms? Ms are you okay?" I heard a woman yell.

I had a hard time focusing. My eyes didn't adjust properly. There was a foul smell coming from the floor I melted into. The bathroom was not a good place to have that fucking conversation which leads to nothing at all. I could hear two girls barfing in the toilet cabins after their first beer. I coughed a little to arrange my voice. I could feel the slightly metallic taste of blood and the feeling of operation scars in my throat. I felt like if I talked I would open up the ghost stitches in my throat. Fuck period craps, fuck getting kicked in the balls, fuck giving birth. Fuck every kind of pain people say is intolerable. Try having every bone in your body crush, try getting your throat cut and bleed until you dry out but never die, try experiencing the constant scare tactics of a demon or whatever and manage to sleep at night, try seeing photograph like drawings of every person you know dead and chopped off and last but not least, try to find the right words to say to the people near you.

"I- 'm fine. Must have been the alcohol." I gave her a fake smile.

"Drink responsibly my dear. You can lose every opportunity on the way to my age." Her voice was painful. I felt the deepness of her story.

"I will. Thanks for the advice." I got up feeling my bones crack every second that I stay up. I had to get to my table. I need a drink.

I left the bathroom still feeling sick. I held my stomach. Getting closer to the bar made my heart jump. Somehow made me forget all the pain I was in.