Spade

Happy Birthday To Us

"Good morning sunshine!!!!" I opened my eyes to Mara's screaming.

"Hmh...."

"Gotta get up, we need to get ready."

"How many hours does it take for you to get ready?"

"Many. We need to prepare, come on. Jamie will be here any second."

"Okay okay. Give me a couple of minutes to rest my eyes a bit more."

"5 minutes. Then I'll pour a glass of water over you."

"Fine... Make coffee."

"Yup, will do."

Today is the day right... I'm turning 21, with Mara. I didn't know if I should be excited or nervous. A lot of people were going to be here, at my house. The house I lived in my entire life, the house I see burning down every time I close my eyes. Maybe that was a sign that today was going to be a disaster. Maybe the burning house is a metaphor for something bad to come. However, what can be worse than what I have already been through? I absolutely have no answer for that and to be completely honest, I'm not looking forward to finding out.

"Okay, get up. I brought coffee." Mara chimed in with her phone ringing at her hand.

"Aren't you gonna answer that." I said sitting up.

"Nope. It's the timer, I put on so I could get you up in exactly 5 minutes." she smiled shutting the alarm off.

I took the cup of coffee from her hand and carefully placed it on my bedside table. I lit a cigarette putting the ashtray on my lap and drank my coffee.

"Are you excited?" I asked.

"Are you not?" she sat on the bed.

"I don't know. This is my first big birthday party. I'm not sure if I should be excited or nervous."

"Why not both?" she smiled. "I'm also a little nervous."

"Do you think Alastair will show up?"

"Did he say he would?"

"Yeah..."

"Then why do you doubt him?"
"I... I don't know I just haven't felt anything like this before and I'm afraid of being disappointed. I feel like I'm keeping my hopes way up."

"Dude... Listen to me." she breathed before she started rapping her sentences to me. "This is the guy that showed up whenever you wanted to see him, this is the guy who talked to you despite not even knowing who you are and this is the guy you had a connection with. Why the fuck do you think he does all this for? Do you really think he would even want to see you if he wasn't interested?!"

"Breathe..."

She took a deep breath. "You're driving me insane." she smiled.

"Why?"

"Cause you're blind. You give zero shit about yourself even though you care too much. Okay, bad things happen but that doesn't mean good things won't. You don't get to doubt the sun because it's a cloudy day."

"But can I doubt the sun if it never rose?"

"Okay, now you're being overly dramatic. It's our birthday. Just let loose for today, I promise you won't regret it."

She was right. I needed to have a break from this gloominess I've had for a long time. First big birthday... In which I'll have all of my friends and people I love with me.
"Okay, but if I regret it I'll nag you for an eternity."

"Deal." she laughed pushing her hand towards me for a handshake. I shook her hand smiling. Here we go. Let's see what kind of disaster will occur.

Not long after we jumped a little from the loudness of the doorbell. Mara ran downstairs joyfully as I continued my morning routine of coffee and cigarettes.