Spade

Knows, Plans, Gets.

I woke up in a bed I've never seen before. I washed my face and started walking towards the balcony for a smoke. Grabbing my cigarettes I found a note attached under it.

"Remember me? I sent you off to a motel nearby thinking your house would be the first place Spade would go to. Don't worry, everything is paid. Stay for a week until I reveal your next paid vacation spot.

I keep my end of the deals."

"Narys really pulled through." I thought.

I went out and started smoking. First time in a while, I felt free. It was hard to realize everything I lived was a lie, but I finally got another chance in life to make things right. The other half of my life had a chance to not be a lie. I could find a job, make friends, start over again, pay half my money to psychological counseling after the shit I've been through. Maybe not tell everything I've been through to the psychiatrist to not get locked up in an asylum for the rest of my life. I knew everything was real. Too real to be anything else. It couldn't be anything else? Right?

I started spending my days alone, jumping from motel to motel, not leaving anything behind. Cut all my contact with Mara and Calvin. I felt alone. Living day by day in prepaid motels and food, trying to get by. I started looking for jobs but what do you know, no one wants to hire a high school dropout in their 20s. I never stopped thinking about Spade. The murders have stopped ever since Narys saved me. They say the police are still on the case but everyone seems to be sure this was going to end up being another unsolved case and die in time. I never stopped missing Spade.

I ended up going to Kelvin Arms again. To catch something to remind me of him. The bartender somehow recognized me with his sly smirk across his face telling me "I told you, you'd be back." Weird enough, he didn't recognize Spade. It was kind of sad to see him work the same job, the same old decorations... I asked him how could he not remember Spade since he left an extremely large tip and he said he could not explain that to his boss without him possibly assuming he robbed that money out the cashpoint. He told me he, himself bought me the drink as I seemed to have been attacked or something in the bathroom and he wanted to apologize in behalf of the bar. He told me any kind of abuse was extremely non-tolerable there. I said my thank you after finishing my drink and gave him a tip before leaving. My reality was shattering. I could not recall any of the times I spend with him. I knew it was real, I knew it felt real but it never really became anything other than feelings and my feelings for him, were definitely real. I bounced out of town again before staying for too long. I needed to get my life together somehow. I needed to move past Spade, I needed to make peace with everything regarding my past.

Years passed. My drawing skills were never enough to secure me a job in the industry. I've gotten rusty after not even bothering to draw a stickman. Sang at a couple bars including Kelvin Arms, with the bartender acquaintances help, made a couple bucks after realizing this was not for me. After fighting so hard, trying to fit in, I found a job as a photographer for a newspaper after the next town I moved. It was quick for them to dig deep enough to find out I was from the small town where all this shit happened. That small background I had almost made sure I would be there to stay. Since they liked the mystery behind it and thought one day possibly I would allow them to share my story. I was a goldmine under their feet. As assumed, I was asked for an interview of what it was like to survive one of the attacks, I refused. Didn't want my name or my face to be associated with anything from there. They were very understanding and told me they would provide anything in order to help me. Of course we all knew what this meant. We give you your life to one day possibly take yours. I learned a lot from Spade's deals. Still, I was deadly afraid Spade would find me and get me again. I missed him. He was the only thing I could ever love. He was the one and only. Couldn't find anybody else after him. I tried, my loneliness was killing me but the money I got made up for it. I was slowly becoming something.