Volume X: The Industry of Chemical Artistry - or - The Age of Rockism

13. Never Be the Same

I got off the bus at the last stop. I’d been riding for hours, my mind wandering. I had nothing to keep myself occupied except my own thoughts. The passing landscape changed from the congestion of the city to the calm of suburbia, to the distant rural feel that I longed for. I was almost in farm country, distant enough where I was sure the demons couldn’t come after me. So I thought. I watched the landscape fly by - smiling wider with every mile we traveled. I was secretly happy. I don’t who it was a secret from, or why. Maybe it was a secret from myself, because if I said it too loud, or made too much out of it, then it wouldn’t remain. It would disappear with the wind. I couldn’t let this go. I had my escape in hand - I just had to keep it going. I had to live it this time. For good. Bury the skeletons in the closet once and for all. Burn the buildings and memories. Everything. Just let go.

I looked around my new surroundings. My friend from the bus stepped off with me. He nodded to me as he passed, his eyes still bright and vibrant. I thought about reaching out, stopping him. But I thought better of it. He too had a guitar case in hand, walking away with broad even steps. I put my cases down, looking up and down the empty street. I watched the lone figure disappear into the distance. Into the fog of the night. There was an eerie feeling to this new place, but mostly because I was unfamiliar. We were the last two left on the bus. I stood there, my breath seeping from between my lips, meeting my eyes. It was cold but I could barely feel it. I looked down the road, finding I was alone. I kept zoning out, here and there, there and then, and the bus was gone too. I was completely alone. The stranger had departed in one direction. I considered following him. I wouldn’t be running away if I had someone to follow. But that would seem bizarre. No. I had to make my own way. I turned my back to possibility, picking up my bags while in motion. And I started to walk.

There was nothing around for miles. I had some money on me, not much though. I’d need a new job. I’d need a better way of making money. I kept walking, watching the sun creep up over the horizon. I stopped to watch it for a few minutes, resting my body then picked up and kept going. I walked until I passed a settlement. And I went by it. I needed a hotel or something. I walked until I reached the main town. I don’t know the name, I was too tired to care by the time I got there. It was barely daybreak. My muscles ached from the long trek, a journey my body wasn’t prepared for. I looked up and down the few streets that lay before me. I looked at the few people beginning to creep out of the buildings. And I kept walking until I found the building I wanted.

A hotel. At the edge of town. Perfectly placed for the idle wanderer. I pushed the door in tiredly, dropping my bags at the desk. The clerk was sitting on a stool, dozing idly. I considered whether I should wait for him to wake up or if I should try to softly jostle him. I decided to be polite, being I might be in town for a while. I sat down in a chair and waited quietly for the man to wake up. Instead of waiting, I found myself dozing off in the chair, despite the pain of the upright position. I tilted my head back and let my eyes roll closed, for there was nothing else I could bring myself to do.

“Hey stranger,” I heard through a sleepy state of consciousness. I opened my eyes groggily, seeing my guitar-toting friend from the bus. He was smiling, and upside down, trying to confuse me. I almost tipped over in the chair from the shock.

“Hey,” I muttered, stretching and yawning, trying to pull myself out of the chair. He looked over at the clerk that was still napping.

“Ever hear of getting a room?” he whispered. I shrugged.

“I didn’t want to wake him up.”

“Ah, you’re not from around here, are you?”

I shook my head. I knew how out of place I seemed here, how obvious it was. I knew that everyone could see it - I could feel it. Deep, down into my bones, I felt the constant shiver. It was fear. Doubt. Discomfort. The Good Samaritan didn’t see any of this. He just saw a lost girl, a new kid in town with nowhere to go and no idea how she got there. All he saw was a lost puppy.