Volume X: The Industry of Chemical Artistry - or - The Age of Rockism

10. Homecoming

Caine returned to the inn the next day. And he had company with him.

Miss Deacon Burton herself.

Ah. And the plot thickens.

They flirted for a while - nothing out of the ordinary. It was like watching disaster flirt with catastrophe. They were both trouble walking in one way or another. Caine was responsible though - he had a good head on his shoulders. She was an addict; she was a fool and a sex fiend in her own way. I don’t know. I should have warned Caine, I should have told him to stay away. But he was an adult. And I knew better than to interfere in anyone else’s life. I was a disaster in myself. So it goes.

I thought about when to go back. The longer I stayed here though, the more at home I felt. It was relaxing. The only problem was that I was living off my inheritance. And eventual profits from the tattoo shop. I didn’t have anything to do here. I hadn’t created anything in the longest time. I felt so lost artistically. I didn’t know what to do, what direction to take. The possibilities were endless, as they tend to be when it comes to art. Like I said, I lent Caine my efforts at times, I figured that it might help me get going. I was wrong.

So I had to become accustomed to the latest addition to the inn residents, Deacon, who I’d been acquainted with at a distance for ages now. I felt like I knew her so well at times, and others, it was like I’d never met her before at all. I kept my distance, keeping myself to myself for the most part. I went to more races, mostly alone since Deacon was in town. Caine spent most of his time with her. I don’t know how he felt about her, in his own words, but you could see it in his eyes. He was completely star-struck, he saw something in her that none of the other guys did. I don’t know exactly what it was that got him. Perhaps it was hope, or potential? I don’t know. Maybe it was her sudden clean up that got to him. She had lived a life of chemical influence, sex, drugs, rock and roll - the whole bit. Now she was off most of the drugs, cut down on the guys, and for the most part, she was better for it. I tried to pretend I knew how he felt, but I was just as clueless as the next guy.

A few days went by, and then weeks. I was still here. I had heard from Irish through letters. I was shocked to hear from her at all. She let me know that everything was going all right, she mailed me a check of the profits from the tattoo parlor, along with copies of the books so I could keep up. Shirley was beginning to show, much to her disappointment. She was particularly proud of being one of the guys all the time, never letting her feminine nature stop her from doing anything. Reality just hit her, and it was doing a number to her self-consciousness. Moe was dealing with everything considerably well. Dusk was being surprisingly responsible. She said that he would be leaving the circus soon to work at the shop full time. I was proud of his decision. Him and Riley were getting more serious as time passed, a piece of information that I kept to myself. Beyond that, the rest were little updates of minimal importance, news about the bar, the new kids that she hired to replace the few missing. All in all, everything was working out just fine.

So here I am. In this moment, wondering where to go in my life. I have opportunity at every turn, and yet, I’m still stuck in the midst of madness without a clue as to which way to head. And then things took a twist for the more interesting.

I was walking yet again at some bizarre hour of the morning, again through fog and mist, when the familiar form that I’d met during my last trek appeared. She took a few steps, then made a sweeping turn and stopped. Her form was there, frozen in space. I blinked my eyes several times to distinguish if she were really an illusion or not. Yet, sure enough, the closer I came to her, the more lines were visible on her form. The more real she became. And the less distant I was from my land of delusion. This was something real, something tangible. And something I could never have. She was the ultimate in untouchable for a guy like me. And I knew it. I knew it from the first time I saw her. I briefly wondered if this was what swept over Caine when he first dealt with Deacon head on.