Twice Again

Broken, Not Useless

Oh no, don't join the team. They won't like you.

No one will let you do anything.

Thanks for the encouragement, Mom.

I know she's scared. I am too.

But here I am at the robotics meeting.

A girl smiles and waves at me. She's nervous.

"Hey, what's your name and email? We're just trying to keep track of everyone here today. It's really hectic today, isn't it? I can also come back to you at the end of the meeting if you're not sure if you want to join us just yet!"

No one's ever this nice. She's faking.

It's because of my wheelchair.

"Later."

She's surprised by the robotic voice. Of course she is. 

Maybe Mom was right.

Some dude tries to get our attention.

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming to our meeting! Some of you might think that you're not good enough, or that you don't know enough, or that you don't have anything to contribute. But y'know what?"

He points at the robot in front of him.

"This bot's name is Geary. He's broken, but not useless. We still use his parts, and give him new parts sometimes!"

I've stopped listening.

My heart is in my throat. 

Broken, not useless.

I think Mom was wrong.

.

.

.

The meeting is over.

Everyone else is leaving.

I stay still.

The student leaders are still here. The captains.

The smiley girl is coming over.

"Hey, do you want to-"

"Evera, everafoster@gmail.com"

"Awesome! Do you have any questions for us?"

Waiting for me to write my reply.

She's so patient. 

"No. But thank you."

She looks surprised.

"Oh, no worries! Do you know what department you want to be part of?"

She lists them off. All of them.

She doesn't limit my choices.

Broken, not useless.

"We could probably actually try making a drive control like your eyegaze for you! Wouldn't that be so cool?"

Yes. It would be.

If I could smile, I would.

Take that, Mom.

Broken, not useless.

That's who I am.

I just hope this isn't a dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, honey. You're too busy to join the robotics team. Beside, you don't know how to make a robot. How about you learn on your own first?"

"I guess you're right. None of my friends are joining either."

Wait. I'm talking.

This is a dream.

Being able-bodied means I have nothing to prove.

I don't go to the meeting.

I don't meet the smiley girl.

I don't feel broken, but I still feel useless.

Maybe ALS isn't that bad.

Maybe things can change.

Maybe I just proved myself wrong.