Twice Again

What Lies

Online, people hide who they are.

#iwokeuplikethis

#nofilter

#allnatural

What lies.

Beautiful, unbelievable lies. But everyone wishes it were true.

#nomakeup

#noedits

#real

But it isn't real. It isn't real at all.

#candid

#livelaughlove

#noworries

It's all worries. It's all posed.

Online, everybody hides who they are.

We're all enemies.

Judging. Lying. Silently competing.

There's a girl who has been messaging me.

She seems nice. But it's probably fake.

She talks a lot.

She thinks we're friends.

I said that I agree.

What lies.

"i saw wheelchair in background of picture"

She won't want to be friends once she knows.

"Oh"

"does s o in ur fam need wheelchair"

And now what?

"Yes"

"who"

Nosy girl. Prepare to meet your match.

"Me"

Typing. Typing. Typing.

"omg me 2"

Oh yeah, definitely, for sure.

Now she'll think we're best friends.

"i mean, not me, my mom"

Of course.

"tbh ive always wanted to ask u abt it bc i saw it b4 n thought maybe u would understand"

This is the part in the movies where they become best friends. Or save someone's life. Or something.

"im sry 4 being nosy"

Huh.

"It's OK"

"will u tell me more"

Might as well.

"ALS stands for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis"

"omg my mom has als"

Of course she does.

"thank u 4 existing"

What?

"thx 4 being a good friend"

Now I feel a little bad for being so skeptical.

"its ok if u dont wanna b friends now that u know, ppl at school say its weird"

Just like my little sister and her classmates.

Now I feel worse for being skeptical.

"What lies"

"im sry"

"I meant that the people at school are lying"

No typing. But read.

"It's not weird she can still be a good mom"

Read.

"People don't believe it when I win trivia contests but I still do"

"gj"

"I wish I could be less different a lot of the time too but we're all learning"

"thx"

"No worries☺"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm talking to the girl again.

"does s o in ur fam need wheelchair"

Wait, we just had this conversation.

"No"

Wait, but I do.

Oh, hold on. It's a dream.

"o ok me neither"

What a short-lived conversation.

And now she's offline.

She just wanted someone to talk to. To connect to.

Like we all do.

I couldn't understand her. She felt alone.

My fingers tap at the keyboard.

"Wait, don't leave"

Nothing.

I keep typing. Spamming.

Typing, typing. Enter.

My heart races.

My adrenaline is going up.

My breathing is getting faster.

I'm worried for her.

And now I'm awake.

I had another breathing attack.

I see a notification light flashing. From her, no doubt.

I feel relieved.

Maybe I've been lying to myself all along.

#brokennotuseless