Paranoia (Alastor Moody)

Chapter 11

(WE ARE BACK IN ACTION FOLKS! I reread what I wrote, and I think I can go off what I already have. It honestly isn't as bad as I thought it was, but I'm gonna try and cut out a lot of the dramatics bc it still feels a bit like a soap opera in my personal opinion. Anyway, without further ado...)

"...What?" Natalie said with a gasp.

"You're a damn idiot Natalie Taylor. You are frustrating and confusing and you are the most dense person I have ever encountered."

Tears welled in Natalie's eyes, threatening to spill over. Looking at the pain and anger upon Alastor's face ripped her heart to pieces. She had caused him so much hurt for so long and it had taken its toll.

"You knew all this time? You knew how I felt and didn't tell me? How could you do that to me? Merlin, I feel like such an idiot! Ive been pining after you for years-- hoping one day I could get the chance to tell you how I felt and for you to feel the same, but you already knew!"

"But Al I do--"

"And Melissa! For once a girl actually talks to me-- and wants to go on a date with me-- and somehow you ruined it! I thought you would be happy for me, but you instead decided to avoid me. I was so obsessed over the fact that you had started to ignore me that it was all I talked about! I couldn't emotionally put myself into my relationship because I was so focused on getting you back. I couldn't figure out what I had done to make you act in the way you had, and I would confide in Melissa. Finally, and rightfully so, she couldn't take the constant talking about another girl, so she broke up with me. II lost her because you couldn't stand that for once I had someone interested in me."

By this time, Natalie was openly sobbing.

"I have stood by time and time again watching as you went on dates and had boyfriends, and I never said anything. Who was I to stand in the way of your happiness? What kind of friend would I be if I did that? Sure, I was going crazy, but as long as you were happy it was worth it."

"Al, please," Natalie said. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I... I miss you. A lot. These last two months have been torture without you. I couldn't get out of bed, let alone face the two of you during this time. Avoiding you was the only way I could handle what I was going through. It was selfish and immature to act the way I did, and I wish more than anything I could go back and start these two months over again. Hell I wish I could go back to last summer and talk myself out of waiting until I was sure!"

"What do you mean?"

"I started having feelings for you the night you stood up to Thompson for me at the Three Broomsticks. But I needed time to sort my feelings out before I said anything. And I had to make sure that you felt the same. I thought about you all summer-- my heart leapt every time you sent me a letter. And when I finally saw you in September-- felt how happy I was when I was with you-- I knew it wasn't just some ordinary crush. I didn't know how to handle that realization. So I waited until Christmas to tell you. And then Melissa came into the picture. I know you're angry and upset about how I treated you, but I love you Al. And I'm never going to stop. You are my best friend and I can't stand another day without you. Please. Will you forgive me? "