Real-Life Myth

Three.

SPACE

The Guardians of the Galaxy are travelling to investigate a distress call to the tune of "Rubberband Man".

Peter Quill is chair-dancing to the song. "Sing it, Drax!" He exclaims.

Drax, however, is snoring with his mouth open from his seat in front of Quill. Gamora lip-synchs with the song along with Quill. Rocket yawns.

"Why are we doing this again?" The raccoon asks.

Gamora, however, is annoyed. This isn't the first time he's asked. "It's a distress signal, Rocket. Someone could be dying."

"I get that, but why are we doing it?"

"'Cause we're nice," Quill answers, saving Gamora from explaining it again. "And maybe whoever it is will give us a little cheddar cheese for our help."

Gamora waves her index finger at Quill. "Which isn't the point," she corrects him. He points back at Gamora with a cheeky smile.

"Which isn't the point. . . I mean. . . If he doesn't pony up. . ."

"We'll take his ship," Drax finishes, now awake. Gamora rolls her eyes.

"Exactly!"

"B-b-b-bingo!" Quill and Rocket agree.

Gamora looks up at Quill in concern. Quill returns her look and grimaces a "don't worry about it" expression at her. However, she knows this group and most definitely will worry about it.

"We are arriving," Mantis alerts, reading her console.

"All right, Guardians. Don't forget, this might be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces." Groot rolls his eyes as Mantis makes a snarl. Groot's handheld Terran-vintage video game beeps. "Groot, put that thing away. Now. I don't wanna tell you again." The game continues beeping. "Groot!"

"I am Groot!" He says mockingly.

"Whoa!"

"Language!"

"Hey!"

"Wow." The Guardians remark at Groot's word choice.

"You got some acorns on you, kid," Quill tells him.

"Ever since you got a little sap, you're a total d-hole," Rocket remarks, "keep it up, and I'm gonna smash that thing to pieces!" Groot just rolls his eyes.

The Benatar decelerates, and Thanos's devastation suddenly covers the Guardians' field of view, revealing the distress signal to be the one from the Asgardian vessel. Bodies are seen floating dead in space along with the pieces of the shredded ship.

"What happened?" Mantis asks.

"Looks like we're not getting paid," Rocket answers. Gamora turns and glares at him. With a thump, Thor's body is plastered to the hull of the ship. Rocket waves his hands. "Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!"

Thor's eye opens. The Guardians gasp.

~~~

The Guardians have settled the still-unconscious Thor onto an examination table inside the ship.

"How the hell is this dude still alive?" Quill asks.

Drax is seriously in aw with this 'dude'. "He is not a dude. You're a dude. This. . . This is a man. A handsome, muscular man."

"I'm muscular," Quill points out, a little dented.

"Who are you kidding, Quill?" Rocket asks. "You're one sandwich away from fat."