not warriors//vinny mauro

35 - ᴇᴍᴘᴛɪɴᴇss

I honestly never felt so weird in my whole life.

Everything was a weird mix of feelings.

It had been a week since I took a break with Vinny.

I first felt really good about it. Cause I was really mad at him.

But now, I just felt weird. And kinda sad.

Life without him wasn't the same.

I felt a kind of emptiness.

I wondered how he felt.

Didn't know if he cared or not.

I decided to ask Ricky.

me: hey rick. I was just wondering, uh,  how is vinny doing?

ricky: right now, he's okay.

me: okay.

ricky: but he cries every night.

me: really?

ricky: yes. he's really sad. he knows he acted like a douchebag. and he understands that you wanted to take a break. he just tries to accept it

me: okay...

ricky: and you, how are you ?

me: let's say I'm okay.

ricky: are you sure ?

me: yeah but no. I first didn't care about the break but now I'm just feeling weird you know

ricky: yeah I see. chris is feeling bad

ricky: he thinks he started the fight by starting the conversation

me: he did not. that's not his fault if vinny is a douchebag

ricky: yeah that's right.

me: alright.. I think I'm gonna go to bed. bye :)

ricky: bye. if you need someone to talk to I'm here. I promise I won't say anything to vinny

me: thank you rick. I think you're the most loyal friend I've ever had. even though I don't know anymore who I should trust or not

me: I mean if I can't even trust my own boyfriend...

me: anyway. I don't wanna be a bother. goodnight

ricky: you're not a bother. ily dude

me: ily too. thanks for being here

---

[Three days later]

I started to really miss Vinny's presence in my life. But I had to forget about him just a little. I just couldn't stay attached to him.

I sometimes really felt down. Could spend hours crying. Or more like wasting hours crying over someone who doesn't even deserve it.

Yeah.

That was complicated.

I was still really mad at him but I missed him a lot too.

Anyway. Life still goes on, right ? Life still goes on.

I got in my bed and buried my head into my pillow.