When she woke up, everything was black. She didn't understand. Everyone said that when people die, everything should be white and they'd wake up in heaven.
Then, why was she seeing black instead ? Had she gone blind ? But, she didn't sense anything. What she wasn't seeing, she wasn't feeling or hearing either. What was happening ?
Her heartrate picked up as her breathing got more labored. She needed to calm down. She would figure it out. Quite a few possibilities ran through her head, but way too fast for her to reach out and comprehend a single one. Focus. She needed to focus and think rationally.
Had she been taken and trapped in a dark place ? That felt unlikely, she didn't remember being attacked and didn't feel sluggish because of drugs. Plus, she wouldn't make a good hostage, she had barely enough money to make ends meet at the end of the month and didn't have anyone who could afford a ransom in exchange of her freedom.
Then what ? What was wrong with her ? Why could she only see black ? Was it a sign of dementia ? But nothing could have built up to that, and not out of the blue. She couldn't even see herself.
But, more than just not seeing anything but black, why did she feel so… empty. Like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. Like a gaping hole was making her struggle to breathe fully. Was it all connected ?
She started to understand. At least, she thought she did. She hoped she was wrong though. Because her loss of color was just a reminder that she would never see colors the same way. She would never see life the same way. Everything had become dull and just so lifeless.
Because her reason for waking up in the morning, the light in her life was gone. Her wife and son had died in a car accident. But, a part of herself had died with them. She would never recover. The lack of color was just a foretaste of what she would have to face forever. And she wasn't sure she would hold on to a life so meaningless.
She wanted white instead of black. At least, white was happier and brighter. Just like she would be, once she sees her family again.
