when you laid your hands on my waist for the first time, I pulled away from the hug. when you slammed your mouth against mine, all I could think of was cigarettes. you reminded me of the smell of burning ash and smoke. when you slapped my butt for the first time, it left a dark bruise for several days afterwards. when you got mad at me for hanging out with my friends, I lost several of them after that. when you asked for nudes and got mad after I refused to send them, I lost complete trust in you. when your fingers touched my skin, I started to feel dirty and revolting. when you attempted to force yourself onto me, it completely broke me.
every time I think of you, i remember why i had built my walls up so high before meeting you.
