Once Upon His December

Chapter 20 - Confessions

Kira

The flickering orange glow of the fire danced across Nikolai's strong features.  A muscle in his jaw ticked.  I could tell he was weighing my request.  How much would he actually confess?

First heaving a loaded sigh, Nikolai led me by the hand over to the couch.  He took the seat across from my fireplace, keeping my hand in his.  He drew circles on the back with his thumb.  Gray eyes were trained on the mesmerizing movement.

"You have to promise me," Nikolai began.  His voice was husky and heavy with emotion.  "That you will not utter a word of this to anyone."

I nodded.

"I need to hear you promise!"  Nikolai tightened his hold on my hand.

"I promise!" 

I reached up and cupped his cheek, stroking the light layer of stubble with my thumb attempting to calm him.  It seemed to work.  He sighed again, eyes cast down at our joined hands.

"Lada and I," he began slowly.  "Our parents had arranged, it was an unannounced understanding. Yes.  We were engaged since infancy."

I bristled, inhaling a sharp breath through my nose.  Yanking my hand away I stood.  I turned my back on Nikolai, facing the fire and hugging myself.

"She was telling the truth," I whispered.  Fresh tears began burning to escape through closed lids.  I had fallen for a man who I couldn't have.

Nikolai was behind me quickly after that statement.  He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"I said we were engaged,"  he explained, speaking softly into my ear. "Until about four years ago,"

"What changed?" I asked.  The warmth radiating through my back soothed my breaking heart. Nikolai hugged me tighter before he answered.

"Your kingdom, принцесса." Nikolai smirked.

I slowly turned around in his arms.  My brows furrowed in confusion trying to read his expression. Was he jesting?

"What are you talking about?"

"Four years ago, my father met with the King of Slovya  I went with him. I was 16.  There was an anniversary ball while we visited.  I danced with the princess."  Nikolai paused to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.  His palm cupped my neck.   "She sang, too. It was beautiful."

I smiled at the memory Nikolai had described.  Now a fond one I cherished.  We had danced that evening, too.

"My father," he continued.  Storming steel eyes lost the sparkle they just had.  "He proposed a marriage arrangement between their Princess and myself.  The Slovyian King refused, so my father attacked."

"What happened to the engagement between you and the Slovyian Princess?" Now I was curious, eyebrows raising.

"It was never concluded," Nikolai answered.  "So, for now," he smirked.  "I am not engaged to anyone."

"Oh," I murmured.  Glancing at the fire, my mind churned while processing all this information.

"That's the night we met, Kira," he continued.  His lips twitched fighting a grin.

My brows furrowed again, head tilting to the side.  "Why don't I remember that night?"

"You fell off a horse and hit your head," he explained. Nikolai leaned in closer lightly pressing a kiss on the scar still on my temple. 

I unconsciously reached up and touched it.  The origin of the scar was a mystery to me. Now, the fuzzy memory was leaking its way to the forefront.