Only Time Will Tell

6 - A New Start? Not Exactly.

- - - Kennedy's POV - - -

"Kennedy...?"

There was a lump in my throat that made it impossible for me to respond. I'm not even sure if I wanted to respond though. What is he doing here? Out of all places in the world that he could be..he's here. In front of me! This can't be happening. It can't be. So many emotions flood back to me by looking at that one face. I never thought I'd have to worry about seeing him here..it never even crossed my mind. I don't know what to think. Just a thousand questions entered my mind, causing my head to spin with no way to stop it.

I noticed he still had a grip on my elbow and I pulled away forcefully and straightened up.

I cleared my throat, "Zayn." I spoke gently but flinched at the sound of his name escaping from my own lips.

"Yeah! Wow, I thought for sure the last time I saw you, would be the LAST time I saw you..but you're here! How..why..?" He stepped closer, to get a better look at my face. His big brown eyes that I used to adore gazed on mine. I couldn't help but look back at him. It's like seeing a ghost. He changed drastically..he no longer looked like a boy back in high school..but like a man. It's funny, what time can do to you. It's too weird. I never thought I would see him again. I never really wanted to see him again. I wouldn't have minded if he popped up in LA but definitely not now, not here. 

"It's complicated." I broke my gaze on his face and focused my eyes on the street behind him, eager to move onto the pavement. I was tapping my foot nervously and I found it impossible to stop.

"Oh..well I live in London now, I guess you do too? I can't believe I'm sitting here talking to you. 2 years, huh? Seems like yesterday we were sitting in my living room in Bradford." He half smiled. 

A flood of memories came rushing back into my head. I tried fighting them off. They made me to upset when I thought about them. When I had no worries, just happy days. Half of me desperately  wanted them back, the other half knew I shouldn't think about that because there was no way to get it back. "I do. and uhm..yeah 2 years." I kept my response simple, just answering the questions he asked.

"You look good, by the way." He winked. A smile tugged on my lips but I tried my best to ignore it's request. I began to take a few steps away from the black haired boy.

"I gotta get home." I said before turning my back towards him and hurrying down the dark street.

"Hopefully I'll see you soon!" He called to me. I bit my lip, and kept walking.

-------------------------

 I crashed onto my bed. My head was throbbing and I was shaking a bit from that encounter. Seeing his face reminds me of everything. Being that carefree girl, living it up because I could, having a party to go to everyday, being surrounded by people and friends, doing it all with the guy I loved..Zayn. It made me cringe. I hated remembering all of that, it made me feel so hopeless now. Because of the way I'm living. Taking medication, having a life threatening disease, having no friends to go to, feeling alone. It's something I'm not used to but being forced to go through. 

I can't even tell anyone about it. It sucks. How does seeing that one face, bring all these feelings out in me? It's safe to say that he's someone I'll have to avoid. I don't need this right now. I need to get back on my feet..but it's hard with all these things reminding me of what I used to have. Am I the one holding me back though? Or is it life holding me back? All I wanted is a new start moving to LA. Crazy how things end up. Now Zayn is around too. Why does this happen now? What I wanted was a new start..not old memories taunting me with a life that I can no longer have.

The worst part is all my questions I have can't be answered..I'll always have to constantly attack myself to know. But I don't have any answers to why this is happening. And if it's all my fault.