I look at Michael and my insides just melt, its just like the first time I ever saw him. He was still holding onto my arms trying to stop me from pinching myself. "Mike, what's going on??" I whisper not trusting my voice not to break.
"Babe I know its hard to believe and its so wrong and I'm going to do whatever I can to fix this. I promise"
"Fix what?? Mike this has to be a dream, I can't be....." I can't even bring myself to finish the sentence, its impossible. I can't be dead, I feel fine.
"Lou your not fine, your the furthest thing from it. You shouldn't be here. You can't be here, do you understand me? You can't be here, you have to go back."
Hes being so serious that he's actually scaring me. Tears are running down my face now and I can't stop them. I can see Michael trying to be angry still, but he can't, his eyes soften up and he slowly reaches out to wipe the tears from my face. "Don't worry baby, its going to all be OK. You will be home soon."
I look down at the floor to hide my face and try to control the tears. After what feels like forever but must only be a minute, Michael places a finger under my chin and gently lifts my head. I look into his eyes brown eyes, and realise that this is what I want. I blink away the new tears that are threatening to spill over and take a deep breath. "But mike I don't want to go home, I want to stay here, with you."
He looks deep into my eyes and sighs. He then looks down at the floor , let's go of me and takes a step back away from from me. He looks up at me and his eyes are hard, angry even. This scares me, I've never seen him look at me like that, he was always so loving and caring all the time. This shocked me, but nothing could of prepared me for what he said next. His eyes drop to the floor for a split second before he looks into my eyes again.
"Lou I don't want u, not anymore. Its over."
That's it, that was the final straw. I can actually feel my heart shattering into a million pieces, and mike stamping on the shards that he can find. The pain is excruciating and I scream out as I drop to my knees holding my chest. I look up and can't see Michael anywhere. The pain feels like it is killing me, like someone is pulling my heart out through my chest and I guess that's exactly what Michael just done to me. I'm lying on my back now, arms wrapped as tight as they can across my chest trying to hold my heart in. This is what I imagine dying to feel like, but it turns out I'm already dead. So maybe this is me coming back to life
