All The Smol Things {Prinxiety}

~Pt. 3~

Okay so, this is gonna be kind of a flashback chapter where Virgil tells what happened and explaining exactly why he regresses. Sooo
[TW: Rape, self-harm, depression, anxiety] I think that's it, but please tell me if I missed any..!

{Virgil's POV}

It was just like any other normal day at school. I went to the bathroom during last period and sat in the stall, having yet another breakdown. I started to pull a blade from my hoodie pocket when I heard someone walk in.

I shoved the blade back into my pocket and got up, flushing the toilet to act like I was using the bathroom. I sighed and casually walked out of the stall and over to the sink, my head down to avoid eye contact. The only thing I remember seeing is the white tile floor, a pair of burgundy checkered Vans, and my own black Converse.

Next thing I know, I'm shoved against the wall, my eyes covered by something that feels like a tie and my mouth covered by a hand. My instincts kick in and I kick my foot back, trying to hit whoever it was in the place where the sun don't shine. But they seem to dodge it and only shoved me into the wall harder.

I felt someone tugging at my pants. I started kicking back more, starting to figure out what was going on. But they kept dodging my kicks somehow. They pushed their hard crotch against my ass, so I'm pretty sure it was a guy.

Then I tried to push all my weight against them to get them off, but it really wasn't much use. I was very skinny and short, so only a mere 98 pounds when they were a lot bigger and at the least maybe 150 or 160 pounds?

They growled in my ear and shoved their hand down my pants. I let out muffled screams against their hand and flailed around, trying to get away. But again, it was no use. They were a lot bigger and stronger than me. And they sure weren't going to go down without a fight.

They pulled down my pants and underwear and I screamed into their hand more, tears falling down my face. They chuckled evilly, like it was some sort of cruel joke.

They shoved two of their fingers in my mouth. "Suck." They growled and I bit their fingers instead, trying to distract them, but that didn't help at all. I felt something sharp at my throat. "Suck, or I'll slit your pretty little throat right here, right now" They whispered and I gulped, deciding to do as they said.

I hesitantly sucked on their fingers until they pulled them away, immediately shoving them into me. I squirmed and bit my lip, so I didn't make any noises and give them a reason to kill me. But now that I think about it, I think that would've been a better option.

They started to thrust their fingers in and out of me, and I just bit my lip harder. I had never done anything like that before, so it felt all new. But it was also forced and I hated it so much. I wanted my first time to be special, and with someone I loved and who I actually knew who they were.

They pulled their fingers out and covered my mouth again, shoving their cock all the way into me. I accidentally moaned as they hit a bundle of nerves, which I assumed to have been my prostate.

"See? You do like it, don't you? There's no reason to fight back if you like it." They whispered. I just shook my head, more tears rolling down my cheeks. At this point, I was just hoping and praying that someone will walk in. But of course I was never that lucky. They started thrusting in and out of me, until they finally released inside of me.

I hoped that they were done with me and they would just leave me alone. I heard them zip up their pants and felt them push me to the floor before running out. I untied the tie and threw it in the trash, then pulled up my pants and underwear. I went back into the stall and cried to myself for the rest of last period, until I heard the dismissal bell ring.

I walked out of the bathroom, my head down as I grabbed my stuff from my locker and walked home. All I could think about was what happened. I tried to figure out who it was, but the voice just didn't sound familiar. I spent the rest of the school year listening to everyone's voice to see if I could figure out who it was, but I could never figure it out. To this day I still don't know who it was, and I've never told anyone, not a single soul about it.

After that, my depression and anxiety started to worsen, and I resorted to self-harm for coping. Scratching, cutting, biting, burning, not eating for weeks, beating myself up to the point where I was covered in bruises, picking at scabs to avoid them healing... You name it, I've probably done it before.

Then I was on Instagram one day and found a 'little space' account and I started looking into it, and finally started to try it out. It has actually helped out a lot. I still cut sometimes, or skip an occasional meal, but not as much as I used to.

So that's the story of why I regress...

So yea...that was pretty sad to write honestly..and as someone who does go through this kind of stuff and uses little space a lot to help cope with my problems, I relate to him a lot right now.. I mean not the rape part, but basically everything else.. But anyways, until next time guys, gals, and nonbinary pals..
~Logan✌