Are We Still Friends?

792 29 10
                                    

John wanted the kiss to last forever. Kate slowly leaned into him as tears continued to stream down her face. They couldn't believe this was actually happening. He opened his eyes and began to wipe her tears away with his thumb. She slowly pulled away and looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Taking her hands into his he softly managed to choke out, "I l-love you. I really mean it. I never really knew what love was when we first met. I thought love was just sex. I thought love was just contact with another human being. But being with you has made me realize how much I fucked up when we were dating. I took advantage of you twice. I broke your heart twice. Kate, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know I've apologized before but it's different this time. I hope you realize that. P-Please forgive me. I'm begging you." More tears began to fall from her eyes as she quickly nodded before breathing out, "John-" It came out as a sob as he quickly pulled her into him once again. The two sat there in the comfort of each other's arms. She tried to hold in her sobs, but eventually gave up as soon as her body started to shake. He held her tighter as he felt her tears begin to soak his shirt. Kate closed her eyes as tight as she could, and hoped this moment would get better.

He placed a kiss to the side of her face before whispering in her ear, "Please don't cry. Please. Everything's fine. I love you."

"J-John. I don't know what to say. You weren't here for so long. I've been able to survive on my own. I thought you left forever. I thought you weren't going to come back."

"I'm here. I'm here, now. Please. Say something." He held her hand tighter as she slowly pulled away from his grasp. They sat in silence as she calmed herself down while wiping her tears with the back of her hand. She quickly stood up before facing him and sighing, "John. I want to stay friends. Just friends. I can't be in a relationship. Not now. I'm sorry. I just can't feel any emotions for anyone at the moment. I need some time." This was not the answer John was expecting. It broke his heart to hear her say it. It was as if his love life was collapsing before his own very eyes. He blew it. He shouldn't of said anything. He should've just waited. Looking down at the ground he mumbled, "No...No. Kate. Please. I'm begging you. I love you so much. So, so much. I'll take care of you-"

"John. Leave me be. Please. I have a job. I have an apartment. I just want to live my life. Let me figure it out on my own. Ok? I don't need anyone to take care of me. I can manage."

"No. Kate you can't. You can't manage on your own-" John choked out with tears streaming down his eyes before she cut him off, "John! You weren't here! I had to learn to survive on my own! I had to pay the bills for my fathers house on my own! I have to pay rent on my own! I've learned to live my life without you. I've moved on. I think you should do the same. I'm sorry." He placed his head into his hands, wishing she was lying. This couldn't be. John wanted her to say she needed him. John wanted to hold her, kiss her, tell her everything was going to be ok. The room was silent. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of both of them sniffling.

"It's hard. I want to love you, John. But I can't. Not anymore. I can't love anyone anymore."  Kate sighed while laying back into the bed before staring up at the ceiling. She fumbled with her pocket while pulling out a cigarette and lighter. John wiped his eyes while watching her before mumbling, "Can I have one?" The two lay next to each other on the bed while staring up at the ceiling, puffing away at the cigarettes.

"I get it. And I'm sorry that I came off so emotional. You need time. Whatever shit is going on in your life, I'm sorry it happened." He sighed while turning to look at her before grabbing her hand and smiling, "I can be friends. As long as I get to see you everyday I'm fine." She nodded before squeezing his hand back reassuringly while mumbling, "Thank you, John. I'm just lost in this dimension that we call life. I don't understand it." She took another drag out of the cigarette before sighing out, "I fucked Dave. Twice. I thought it would ease the stress that I've been facing. But it only made it worse when he was gone before I even woke up. I thought he loved me. I thought him leaving every morning was just his way of showing how I would come crawling back to him. So I kept whatever we had for so long until he quit the band and left the state. He never told me where he was going. He never said goodbye. He just left. Almost like every other person in my life that I've trusted." It was silent. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of them breathing nicotine in and out. Kate got a pit in her stomach, thinking about what she had just told John. It was personal. She thought he was mad since he wasn't saying anything after her little rant. Quickly sitting up she went to make her way towards the door when John grabbed her hand and asked, "Hey. Where are you going? I'm listening. Whatever you need to say, let it all out. There's no need to bottle up your feelings. It's ok to tell someone if your conflicted with a problem. Trust me. I get it." She hesitated before nodding her head and sitting back down on the bed. Letting out a sigh she shook her nerves away and began to talk to John about everything.

Every Breath You Take (Rhcp Fanfic) PART TWO OF TAKE MY BREATH AWAYWhere stories live. Discover now